Hire Jim Essian

I was thinking yesterday about some embarrassing moments I've had during my life as a Cubs fan. Then, I got depressed, and tried to narrow it down to only those embarrassing moments actually related to my Cubs fandom. There are a lot. I've been naive. I've been foolishly loyal. I've been blind to the team's ... Read More

What's better than having Dolan do a guest Muskbox? Well, getting back-to-back Muskboxes, of course! It's like last week's Muskbox is scissoring this week's Muskbox in a loving- ah, forget it. That's fucking gross. Let's just dive into this week's nightmare. I can assure you that it is terrible, as I noticed an awful, awful ... Read More

As a favor to me, and because he's secretly in love with Carrie Muskat, Andy Dolan of Desipio takes his swings at the dumbest Q&A this side of Dave Kaplan's show. This week's Muskbox will be covered in due time. Last week, the Kerms were in lovely Mexico where they routinely vacation. They go there for two reasons. ... Read More

Daryle Ward, son of Gary and object of white hot manlove around these parts, has tested the mettle of all that is right by signing with the White Sox. As I googled around to confirm my fear that the Fat Kangaroo had sold himself out to Meth Head Nation, I came across this. Keep in mind: Pete Rose Jr. left the Bears ... Read More

It's not a question of whether or not you've heard it this season. It's a question of how many times you've heard it. It's some variation of "This team would be so much better if they'd kept Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa." Maybe over the course of the season, those people will be right, but they sure ... Read More

Why is Kermit lying again? Click HERE to find out. Tiny-armed Florida Marlins second baseman Dan Uggla set an MLB record last night, committing twelve errors in a 23-3 loss to the Chicago Cubs. Uggla's atrophied arms were unable to corral any of the twelve balls hit at him during the game. ... Read More