Fair warning. If you like Todd Hundley or any of the Hundley clan, you probably shouldn’t read the following story. Everyone still with me? Okay, good. I had to share this nugget sent in by a reader which- Well, I’ll just let the story speak for itself.
Yesterday i went to the cubs game with a few friends (it was nice to see them pull their heads out of their asses) and this girl i have been hanging out with lately. Her last name was Hundley. I thought nothing of it, many people have a last name of hundley. After the game we all went to the dugout to meet up with a bunch of other friends. One of the friends i met up with has apperently slept with this girl. I asked her was she any good. And he said it wasnt anything special but shes a fucking nut case who takes after her dad. Then he told me he was shocked i was hanging out with her because of how much I hate her dad. (RED FLAG) I didnt understand what he ment by this because i had never ment her father. We ordered another round of beers and then tried to figure out who was driving home. I said i would, but everyone was not in favor of this because of how much i’d been drinking. Then she told me I dont want a DUI, she said her dad got one and it was a big headache even though he got out of it! I calmy asked, whos your dad? And of course, it was, Todd Hundley…. I couldnt beleive it, I said “Your dad was in the MLB?” and she said “Yeah he even played for the cubs, do you want to meet him??” at this point I lost my shit… “Do i want to meet? No I dont want to meet the man who is the exact opposite of what a baseball player is supposed to be, bull shit your dad was taking medication the lazy bastard was drinking if your a profesional athlete you can pass a sobriety on fucking viagra (i took that one from you)” Then i demanded payment from her father for all the games i had to watch him catch at. She spit in my face and stormed off crying. Would i have dont it sober? probably not. But at least it took out of some of my frustration.
HJE does not condone antagonizing the friends and/or family of any former players we hate, but demanding a refund for Hundley games is pretty outstanding. If you have any absurd stories that you want to submit to the Roundup, please send them to the e-mail address in the sidebar. Now, we have a lot of stuff to get to, so let’s get to it:
- You know who’s badass? Ted Manny-Facing, Tossed-From-Games-He’s-Not-Playing Lilly.
- Speaking of Manny, a lot of fans are truly moronic.
- You know how we always lament that shitty players never get hurt? Well, just a few days after Aaron Miles was sent to the DL, he’s been joined by Ryan Freel. Take your time, suckbags.
- This is not the WWF.
- In case you’re actually interested in a Mailbag worth reading and full of snark, I have good news for you. Our good friend PAUL SULLIVAN’s “Ask Paul” feature is back.
- The sale of this team is in jeopardy, and Dolan and Chuck both break down why better than I can.
- Some Cubs officials are pondering whether a crusty old dean would do the team some good.
- Frustrated by how shitty we’re playing? At least we’re not the White Sox, who are already down to a < 5% chance of making the playoffs. And at least we don’t breach contracts. We just sign bad ones. And at least our traditions are cooler.
- Mr. T is awesome, as TMS testifies. If you didn’t see the video from Monday night, it’s here.
- I wish everyone would just shut up.
- Cesar Izturis injured his groin. Fortunately, he knows a good remedy.
- And speaking of groins…
- Ken Schultz auditions for SportsCenter. Maybe we should have asked him to deliver this letter while he was there.
- Clay Zavada’s mustache is the best one I’ve seen since my mother-in-law died.
- Bud Selig wants to go to bed earlier this October. How about fewer commercials instead, cockface?
- Can you name all the members of Mr. Burns’ softball team?
- Baseball dance-offs are wacky.
- The site is a bit of a nightmare to use, but if you’re looking for a throwback (and I mean way back) cap, you might want to start here. I think it works best in Internet Explorer, if that tells you anything.
- I caught Rothschild applying Wack Off Insect Repellent just the other day.
- Finally, if you’re looking to kill an afternoon, check out Texts From Last Night. My personal favorite?
(323): You got in a fight last night?
(818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom…he was standing there and I notice he’s got the same shirt as me on so I’m like…dude you should have called me, we look like idiots…he didn’t say anything…so i got pissed and hit him…completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward…weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
(323): Um…Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
May the weekend ahead hold a similar exchange for all of you.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
