Fair warning. If you like Todd Hundley or any of the Hundley clan, you probably shouldn’t read the following story. Everyone still with me? Okay, good. I had to share this nugget sent in by a reader which- Well, I’ll just let the story speak for itself.
Yesterday i went to the cubs game with a few friends (it was nice to see them pull their heads out of their asses) and this girl i have been hanging out with lately. Her last name was Hundley. I thought nothing of it, many people have a last name of hundley. After the game we all went to the dugout to meet up with a bunch of other friends. One of the friends i met up with has apperently slept with this girl. I asked her was she any good. And he said it wasnt anything special but shes a fucking nut case who takes after her dad. Then he told me he was shocked i was hanging out with her because of how much I hate her dad. (RED FLAG) I didnt understand what he ment by this because i had never ment her father. We ordered another round of beers and then tried to figure out who was driving home. I said i would, but everyone was not in favor of this because of how much i’d been drinking. Then she told me I dont want a DUI, she said her dad got one and it was a big headache even though he got out of it! I calmy asked, whos your dad? And of course, it was, Todd Hundley…. I couldnt beleive it, I said “Your dad was in the MLB?” and she said “Yeah he even played for the cubs, do you want to meet him??” at this point I lost my shit… “Do i want to meet? No I dont want to meet the man who is the exact opposite of what a baseball player is supposed to be, bull shit your dad was taking medication the lazy bastard was drinking if your a profesional athlete you can pass a sobriety on fucking viagra (i took that one from you)” Then i demanded payment from her father for all the games i had to watch him catch at. She spit in my face and stormed off crying. Would i have dont it sober? probably not. But at least it took out of some of my frustration.
HJE does not condone antagonizing the friends and/or family of any former players we hate, but demanding a refund for Hundley games is pretty outstanding. If you have any absurd stories that you want to submit to the Roundup, please send them to the e-mail address in the sidebar. Now, we have a lot of stuff to get to, so let’s get to it:
- You know who’s badass? Ted Manny-Facing, Tossed-From-Games-He’s-Not-Playing Lilly.
- Speaking of Manny, a lot of fans are truly moronic.
- You know how we always lament that shitty players never get hurt? Well, just a few days after Aaron Miles was sent to the DL, he’s been joined by Ryan Freel. Take your time, suckbags.
- This is not the WWF.
- In case you’re actually interested in a Mailbag worth reading and full of snark, I have good news for you. Our good friend PAUL SULLIVAN’s “Ask Paul” feature is back.
- The sale of this team is in jeopardy, and Dolan and Chuck both break down why better than I can.
- Some Cubs officials are pondering whether a crusty old dean would do the team some good.
- Frustrated by how shitty we’re playing? At least we’re not the White Sox, who are already down to a < 5% chance of making the playoffs. And at least we don’t breach contracts. We just sign bad ones. And at least our traditions are cooler.
- Mr. T is awesome, as TMS testifies. If you didn’t see the video from Monday night, it’s here.
- I wish everyone would just shut up.
- Cesar Izturis injured his groin. Fortunately, he knows a good remedy.
- And speaking of groins…
- Ken Schultz auditions for SportsCenter. Maybe we should have asked him to deliver this letter while he was there.
- Clay Zavada’s mustache is the best one I’ve seen since my mother-in-law died.
- Bud Selig wants to go to bed earlier this October. How about fewer commercials instead, cockface?
- Can you name all the members of Mr. Burns’ softball team?
- Baseball dance-offs are wacky.
- The site is a bit of a nightmare to use, but if you’re looking for a throwback (and I mean way back) cap, you might want to start here. I think it works best in Internet Explorer, if that tells you anything.
- I caught Rothschild applying Wack Off Insect Repellent just the other day.
- Finally, if you’re looking to kill an afternoon, check out Texts From Last Night. My personal favorite?
(323): You got in a fight last night?
(818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom…he was standing there and I notice he’s got the same shirt as me on so I’m like…dude you should have called me, we look like idiots…he didn’t say anything…so i got pissed and hit him…completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward…weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
(323): Um…Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
May the weekend ahead hold a similar exchange for all of you.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
Best text from last night:
(717): Hey, It’s Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
(206): Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And if you think baseball fans are retarded for starting a campaign for Manny, have you seen the current All-Star tally for the NL? J.J. Hardy is leading at SS (Khalil Greene is 3rd, and he’s about two days away from killing himself), Molina and Kendall are 1-2 for catcher, and somehow a Brewer or Cardinal player is top 3 for basically every position. What a joke.
Who’s gonna pony up the $30 to sponsor Hundley’s b-r page so it’ll link to this post?
Oh, yeah, right, like you wouldn’t go out of your way to spit on Neal Cotts’ saintly grandmother.
:D
Mr. T in the Zubaz pants from Napoleon Dynamite!! Whoa!!
Nice head, Mr. T.
Always good advice.
I did LOL when the guy broke into his “Lord of the Dance” routine. That was nuts.
i remember reading somewhere that the original script in the simpson’s episdoe called for jose canseco to wake up late for the game in mrs. krabaple’s bed, but he was such an asshole and demanded it changed to him helping a lady with a fire, so they did. this was right about the time he was juiced out of his mind, so i wouldnt fight a man with arms larger than me either.
in conclusion, libya is a land of contrast.
Maybe I’m as crazy as he is, but I loved the Zambrano meltdown, especially the part where he tossed the ump out. I think the ump bumped him first, but MLB won’t bother doing anything about it. Six games seems fair, but I’d like to see the ump penalized as well. The officiating in that whole Pirates series was bullshit.
Thanks for linking the Mr. T tribute. He is indeed the man.
Your friend must have still been drunk when he wrote that email. I’ve never seen so many typos.
That’s a friend from a friend from a cousin from a. . . story. I think most of us could make up better stories than that with a hell of a lot better english
holy shit Rusty. Where are you at that its 3:04am?
People can say what they wany about Z. .. but I’m an old school guy. I would much rather see TUg McGram Frank Chance baseball than the weekshit umps are pulling now. I’v e never seen so many who want to make themselves bigger than the game thats being played
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