How will you be spending Jim Essian Day and your Jim Essian Weekend? It’s May 22, 2009, the 18th anniversary of my Major League managerial debut. Everyone celebrates it differently. Here’s a file photo of how Kerry Wood and the Cubs celebrated a recent Jim Essian Day.

It was nice of them to remember me in such an inspiring way. In fact, I’d encourage you to do the same. Hang that Essian 41 jersey out in front of your house right alongside your American Flag.� It’s Roundup time, and let’s look at how others are celebrating Jim Essian Day:

• Our heroes celebrated the few days leading up to Skip Day by going on a scoring strike. Two runs in 27 innings? Not even I will clap for that.
• The White Sox prepared for it by being rejected by Jake Peavy while also losing by a mere 19 runs to Minnesota. Even the brain dead Rick Telander knows it was a bad day.
• Jake Peavy celebrated Jim Essian Eve by rejecting the Sox’ advances, charting pitches and getting ready to face the Cubs.
• Rozner thinks the Cubs still have a chance to give us a late Jim Essian Day present. Of course he thinks Peavy might be attracted to the alluring smells of the South Side.
• The 1984 Padres will be honored at PETCO today. Could a Cub fan celebrate Jim Essian Day by assaulting Steve Garvey? Please?
• The Brewers are celebrating Jim Essian Day by dreaming of acquiring Jake Peavy, or Mark DeRosa. A few people have theorized DeRosa would be a good fit in Milwaukee now that Rickie Weeks is hurt.
• The Red Wings will celebrate Jim Essian Day by beating the Blackhawks at the United Center. Nice showing in Hockeytown, Blackhawks.
• The Vikings and Brett Favre are celebrating Jim Essian Day by playing a tired, old game with football fans.
• WGN is celebrating Jim Essian Day by giving our eardrums a break.
• Turkey is just a sincere apology from reconciling with the greatest people on Earth, the Armenians. That would warrant a celebration.
• This guy honored his father in a way Carlos Zambrano would be proud.
• Oh, and speaking of Carlos, look who’s celebrating Jim Essian Day in style?

Finally, let’s take a moment to remember the site of my first triumph: the wonderful and disgusting Shea Stadium, torn down despite the pleas of American and Armenian historians, who understand that on May 22, 1991, I sent Greg Maddux out to face Frank Viola, and penciled Shawon Dunston as my leadoff hitter. Things went nowhere but up after that game, at least for the next week.

Until next Jim Essian Day, or until Tom Ricketts names me manager in his first act, so long from Skip…