Another week, and as far as I know, no one in the clubhouse has swine flu. Just to avoid a scare, we’ve started calling “flu-like symptoms” what they really are: hangovers. That said, I’m day-to-day this weekend from “hangover.” But I’ll muscle up and give you your precious Roundup, because I’d hate for you to do work this morning.
- I can’t hope to top TDubbs’ Desipio headline about the biggest news of the week. “Manny Being Druggy.”
- Somebody get Skip on the phone. The Diamondbacks need a new manager.
- Mental Floss is addictive. See how you do on their baseball rules quiz. If you can beat my 8/10, I’ll let you manage the Padres series next week.
- John Kass tries to write like Bill Simmons, but all I learned is that he has a douchey friend named “Wings” who’s a fair weather fan.
- Say what you will about me. I’m nothing if not a paragon of patience.
- I like Sean Marshall as much as the next guy. Unless, of course, the next guy is this guy. (HT: Pre)
- Remember that fateful Opening Day when you predicted that Tuffy Rhodes would hit 450 home runs? You were sort of right.
- WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN KERMIT, DARYLE WARD?!
- Having a bad Friday morning? Here’s a bloodied Mets fan to brighten your day.
- The University of Wisconsin couldn’t get a better commencement speaker than a used car salesman whose only claim to fame is trying to ruin the National Pastime?
- Felix Pie is still absolutely terrible. Sorry, NSBB.
- Why do I suspect that Carrie Muskat has something to do with this proposed legislation?
- At least Rick Ankiel was smart enough to crash into a wall instead of, say, a tow truck.
- This is one cathartic Brett Favre rant.
- Meet 9 Famous Baseball Vendors. Tragically missing: Scottie Pippen Guy.
- This might make it tough for Drew Peterson to make his reality TV debut.
- Nails takes another pounding. (HT: Oliver)
- Marty Brennaman is still a canteen full of ball sweat who steadfastly refuses to die. (HT: Zach)
- For the last time, most Cubs fans are NOT racist. (HT: St. Patrick)
- Son of Jim Essian Jon Greenberg pokes fun at the True Value of the Square D power of marketing of the Cubs.
- “I worked at Playboy in Chicago for awhile and hooked up a lot of the Cubs players with some…memorabilia.” And she’s a hot blogger. (HT: Jon)
- This one is for CT.
- Finally, The Onion is funniest when it goes after the Yankees.
That’s all for me being me this week. See you in Milwaukee.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
