Another week, and as far as I know, no one in the clubhouse has swine flu. Just to avoid a scare, we’ve started calling “flu-like symptoms” what they really are: hangovers. That said, I’m day-to-day this weekend from “hangover.” But I’ll muscle up and give you your precious Roundup, because I’d hate for you to do work this morning.
- I can’t hope to top TDubbs’ Desipio headline about the biggest news of the week. “Manny Being Druggy.”
- Somebody get Skip on the phone. The Diamondbacks need a new manager.
- Mental Floss is addictive. See how you do on their baseball rules quiz. If you can beat my 8/10, I’ll let you manage the Padres series next week.
- John Kass tries to write like Bill Simmons, but all I learned is that he has a douchey friend named “Wings” who’s a fair weather fan.
- Say what you will about me. I’m nothing if not a paragon of patience.
- I like Sean Marshall as much as the next guy. Unless, of course, the next guy is this guy. (HT: Pre)
- Remember that fateful Opening Day when you predicted that Tuffy Rhodes would hit 450 home runs? You were sort of right.
- WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN KERMIT, DARYLE WARD?!
- Having a bad Friday morning? Here’s a bloodied Mets fan to brighten your day.
- The University of Wisconsin couldn’t get a better commencement speaker than a used car salesman whose only claim to fame is trying to ruin the National Pastime?
- Felix Pie is still absolutely terrible. Sorry, NSBB.
- Why do I suspect that Carrie Muskat has something to do with this proposed legislation?
- At least Rick Ankiel was smart enough to crash into a wall instead of, say, a tow truck.
- This is one cathartic Brett Favre rant.
- Meet 9 Famous Baseball Vendors. Tragically missing: Scottie Pippen Guy.
- This might make it tough for Drew Peterson to make his reality TV debut.
- Nails takes another pounding. (HT: Oliver)
- Marty Brennaman is still a canteen full of ball sweat who steadfastly refuses to die. (HT: Zach)
- For the last time, most Cubs fans are NOT racist. (HT: St. Patrick)
- Son of Jim Essian Jon Greenberg pokes fun at the True Value of the Square D power of marketing of the Cubs.
- “I worked at Playboy in Chicago for awhile and hooked up a lot of the Cubs players with some…memorabilia.” And she’s a hot blogger. (HT: Jon)
- This one is for CT.
- Finally, The Onion is funniest when it goes after the Yankees.
That’s all for me being me this week. See you in Milwaukee.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
I got 8/10, so I guess I won’t be coaching the Padres next week.
I still have a good shot AFTER that, though.
In other news, Dom Dimaggio died. 92 years old.
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090508&content_id=4623958&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb
Here’s something I didn’t know:
Dom was a center fielder, as were his brothers Joe, a Hall of Famer for the Yankees from 1936-51, and Vince, who played for five National League teams from 1937-46. And like his brother Joe, who hit in a Major League-record 56 games in 1941, Dom had an impressive hitting streak of his own, hitting in 34 consecutive games — a Boston club record that still stands — in 1949.
That streak, though, was broken on Aug. 9, when Joe DiMaggio caught a sinking liner in the eighth inning of a 6-3 Red Sox win over the Yankees.
What?? Man, oh, man. Let it drop, Joe. For the sake of brotherly love, and all that.
And in other OTHER news, Angel Pagan was arrested.
@Moon – The “ways to reach first base” question was completely ludicrous.
John Kass ripping off Royko’s Slats Grobnik- Shameless
Yeah, I have to check out that whole list. Only got 6/10 and one of the questions I knew but talked myself out of the right answer thinking of trickery and stupidity (my own).
He gives a fuck what ESPN says, there are 8 ways to reach first.
I’m with you, Ump and Bad Kermit. EIGHT ways!!! Stupid question. For my whole life, it’s been eight ways to get on.
I also missed the ball hitting the guy standing on base. I thought the base was safe haven.
@Moon – Those were the same two Lou and I missed.
One time I called in to Marty Brennaman and actually got on the air. I ripped him a new asshole and he cut me off and kicked me off the air. FUCK YOU Marty Brennaman. Your almost as bad as Joe Morgan in the contest for worst announcer ever.
It’s nice to see that Cubs fans have gocubbiesjess on MLBlogs when the White Sox fans have that nasty, fat c**t that Kerm sometimes refers too.
Thanks bra.