I’ve been at some strange Cubs games in my life. I was at the game in 2000 against the Dodgers when some enterprising Cubs fan nearly incited a riot by swiping the hat off the head of Chad Kreuter while Kreuter was seated in the Dodger bullpen. I was at the game against the Rockies in 2001 when Mongo got ejected from the booth by Angel Hernandez, and then Ricky Gutierrez scored in the bottom of the 9th on play that took about forty-five minutes. I was at the game in 2004 against the Reds when Sergio Mitre started against the Reds, that incompetent boob Dusty Baker flubbed a double-switch and got ejected by C.B. Bucknor, and then Sammy Sosa and Moses Alou went back-to-back to win the game in the bottom of the ninth. If you’re looking in the box score for the blown double switch, it was in the bottom of the 7th, when Kent Mercker was called out on an unassisted groundout to the catcher in DEEP LEFT FIELD. That was actually a Ramon Martinez double to deep left for which Mercker was called out. You suck, Dusty. I was also at the ridiculous game in 2007 (thanks to Mike D.) during which Bob Howry blew an 8-3 Cubs lead in the 9th inning against the Rockies, only to have Koyie Hill start a two-out rally with a base hit in the bottom of the 9th followed by a Kazuo Matsui error and an Alfonso Soriano walk-off, 2-RBI single. Oh, that would also be the game when an attention whore of a fan decided to take a run at Howry and promptly got form tackled by an usher.

But LAST night’s game was the goocher.

I think most of you are aware that I’m not normally a very superstitious person. I’m not stupid enough to think that the timing of my bathroom breaks affects the outcome of a baseball game. I don’t keep track of the team’s record when I’m in attendance wearing a particular article of clothing. That’s for stupid people.

But if I were a more superstitious person, I would declare last night’s game the goocher of the 2009 season.

It began in the top of the fourth inning. I was just walking back to my seats from the JINX BATHROOM, when I heard a ruckus in the crowd while Joey Votto was at the plate, and everyone began looking toward the warning track. I looked over my shoulder to see this:

A cat. On the field.


The next time you see a black cat, Ron, HIT IT WITH THE BAT!


I know the Santo scene wasn’t at Wrigley Field, but COME ON. In the history of baseball, how many times has a cat run onto the field? Is it only the two times it’s happened to the Cubs? One of the Wrigley attendants deposited the cat appropriately (and painfully) into the Steve Bartman seats. Keep that in mind.

Not two batters later, Jay Bruce popped a ball toward those same seats, where some jackass who has apparently never watched baseball (or, specifically, CUBS baseball) interfered with Alfonso Soriano’s chance to catch a foul ball. At least it LOOKED like interference from my seats. The Cubs were winning 2-1 at the time with Votto on second base. The fans booed the dope lustily and started a “Bartman!” chant. They booed him even harder when Bruce lined a base hit up the middle a couple pitches later to drive in Votto and tie the game.

Coincidences? Weird circumstances? Probably. After all, the Cubs won the game handily by a 7-2 score behind a tidy pitching performance by Rich Harden. And, after all, it’s not like Alex Gonzalez showed up in the box score, or anything, did he?

DID HE?!