My favorite part about the Netherlands surviving until the second round of the World Baseball Classic is that “the Netherlands” is an awesome name for one’s taint. My second favorite part is that the team is basically made up of a bunch of no-name players. Now, unless you know who Rick VandenHurk is, there are probably only two players on the Netherlands of whom you have actually heard. And they are both fat. So, let’s put them in the Fukudome.


VS.
Sydney Ponson Randall Simon

If you were dropped in a pool which was slowly filling with custard, and you could choose one Netherlands player to save you using only a straw, who would it be?

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