Holy God in Heaven, baseball is back. It seems like ages ago that we were getting swept out of the playoffs and wasting a 97-win season. Remember that? Remember when we were getting swept out of the playoffs? Anyhow, happy belated 200th birthday to two of my favorite bearded men, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. Let’s get to the Roundup.
- Look out, MLB. Reigning NL Rookie of the Year Geovany Soto is back, and he’s less fat now.
- Oh, and Kosuke Fukudome is getting in shape, too. Maybe instead of working on his pecs, he should work on making contact with a baseball every once in a while.
- Brewers fans aren’t yet aware that their team is back to being totally irrelevant in the NL Central. I give them until May.
- And with the start of Spring Training, the annual Angel Guzman dick tease begins.
- Roger Clemens’ uppance is coming, and that right soon.
- Not only is Alexei Ramirez not the best baseball player in Chicago, he’s not even the best baseball player in Chicago named Ramirez.
- I’m looking forward to all the “Cubs fans are gay” jokes THIS is sure to inspire.
- I must be a hell of a coach. Look at all the flotsam I’ve had to cut from the 2007 roster.
- MUSKAT. HAS. A. BLOG. Thanks to Jon for the tip.
- You suppose her blog has anything to do with this, or is it our fault?
- The Onion takes on the A-Rod steroid controversy.
- This sort of makes you feel bad for the starving kids who got stuck with Sally Struthers, doesn’t it?
- UH. OH.
That’s it for me, peons. Enjoy having some actual baseball news this weekend, and enjoy not getting laid on Valentine’s Day for the 33rd straight year.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
”I know shortstops,” said Guillen, a three-time All-Star and Gold Glove shortstop as a player. ”This kid has a chance to make Sox fans forget all about Ozzie Guillen.”
Can he make Cubs fans forget about Ozzie Guillen, too? Please?
So Dusty says he ‘was never with a team that had the most resources’. I suppose while he was managing the Cubs that they were operating under an austerity drive, eh?
As I’ve told SUL before, I look forward to the Cubs winning 100 this year during the regular season and at least one playoff game.
I’m fucking there
What, they couldn’t bill George Michael too?
I can understand that Boy George is not available.
But a Billy Joel, Elton John, George Michael trio would fill the stands at Wrigley.
The Sox just signed AC / DC to play at the Cell in August.
You can’t make this shit up.
Your usage of the word “flotsam” is incorrect. At least I hope it is. Flotsam comes from a shipwreck. What you probably meant was Jetsam. which is rubbish purposefully cast off of a ship. Common mistake. For a more detailed review of this in a cub related blog please refer to the February 3rd edition of http://www.shermrants.blogspot.com
uh-oh indeed!!
Gotta love the Onion
@flannj – Sorry for the late reply but it should be noted that no less a Man’s Man than Dan McNeil spent a little time on one of his last few days on the air extolling a previous Joel/John concert. (This was before the current one at Wrigley was announced, as best I can recall.) He particularly praised the part where Joel covered John’s “The Bitch Is Back.” I can’t make this stuff up either.