Holy God in Heaven, baseball is back. It seems like ages ago that we were getting swept out of the playoffs and wasting a 97-win season. Remember that? Remember when we were getting swept out of the playoffs? Anyhow, happy belated 200th birthday to two of my favorite bearded men, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. Let’s get to the Roundup.
- Look out, MLB. Reigning NL Rookie of the Year Geovany Soto is back, and he’s less fat now.
- Oh, and Kosuke Fukudome is getting in shape, too. Maybe instead of working on his pecs, he should work on making contact with a baseball every once in a while.
- Brewers fans aren’t yet aware that their team is back to being totally irrelevant in the NL Central. I give them until May.
- And with the start of Spring Training, the annual Angel Guzman dick tease begins.
- Roger Clemens’ uppance is coming, and that right soon.
- Not only is Alexei Ramirez not the best baseball player in Chicago, he’s not even the best baseball player in Chicago named Ramirez.
- I’m looking forward to all the “Cubs fans are gay” jokes THIS is sure to inspire.
- I must be a hell of a coach. Look at all the flotsam I’ve had to cut from the 2007 roster.
- MUSKAT. HAS. A. BLOG. Thanks to Jon for the tip.
- You suppose her blog has anything to do with this, or is it our fault?
- The Onion takes on the A-Rod steroid controversy.
- This sort of makes you feel bad for the starving kids who got stuck with Sally Struthers, doesn’t it?
- UH. OH.
That’s it for me, peons. Enjoy having some actual baseball news this weekend, and enjoy not getting laid on Valentine’s Day for the 33rd straight year.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
