Enter The Muskbox
Posted by Bad Kermit on Wed, Feb 11, 2009
Did people seriously miss the Muskbag so much that it’s back? And did they really think they’d fool us by changing the name from “Mailbag” to “Inbox”? All it takes is a simple name change, Carrie. Your old Muskbag is now the Muskbox. And that is worse. So, here we go.
I’m curious why the Cubs didn’t re-sign Henry Blanco. I know he had a great year and hit free agency to try to get a bigger contract, but he only signed with the Padres for $750,000. Meanwhile, the Cubs signed Paul Bako for $725,000. I feel like Blanco at $750,000 is a steal compared to Bako at $725,000.
– Dan D., Naperville, Ill.
Simple. That extra $25,000 is going directly into the Jake Peavy contract!
CARRIE: Blanco was the perfect teammate. He was a terrific mentor to Geovany Soto, who gave the veteran much of the credit for his success after he won the 2008 National League Rookie of the Year Award. Blanco also didn’t complain about his limited playing time. One reason for the switch is because Bako gives the Cubs another left-handed bat. The team’s other backup-catcher option is Koyie Hill, a switch-hitter, who is back after suffering a horrific hand injury.
So, the Cubs got rid of the most perfect teammate ever and a mentor to their first successful home-grown position player since Mark Grace because they wanted a guy less versatile than a guy who they already have on the roster and who has Frankenhands. Maybe you didn’t understand the question, Carrie.
What is the latest on the Jake Peavy deal? They said it would probably coincide with the sale of the team.
– Zac H., Des Moines, Iowa.
Did you know the abbreviation for “Iowa” is “Iowa.”? At least that’s what THEY say.
CARRIE: The Cubs’ ownership situation has not been finalized. Tom Ricketts is in exclusive negotiations to purchase the team and Wrigley Field, and the Cubs would like to get things resolved by Opening Day. But the package didn’t include Peavy. Ricketts is not at a point where he can give the go-ahead to any deal. Also, the Padres are undergoing their own transition with an ownership change, and Jeff Moorad may decide he wants to keep Peavy.
SAM ZELL: Take this team, but beware! It carries a terrible curse!
TOM RICKETTS: Ooh, that’s bad.
SAM ZELL: But, the team will sell seats no matter how bad they are.
TOM RICKETTS: That’s good!
SAM ZELL: Jake Peavy is not part of the team.
TOM RICKETTS: That’s bad.
SAM ZELL: But it comes with a free frogurt!
TOM RICKETTS: That’s good!
SAM ZELL: The frogurt is also cursed.
TOM RICKETTS: That’s bad.
SAM ZELL: But you get your choice of toppings.
TOM RICKETTS: That’s good!
SAM ZELL: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
TOM RICKETTS: …
SAM ZELL: That’s bad.
TOM RICKETTS: Can I go now?
I know that Mike Fontenot can not take over the everyday spot at second base now that Mark DeRosa is gone. Will the Cubs try to go after a guy such as Brian Roberts or another player they know can be an everyday starter?
– Blair S., St. Louis
“Blair S.” = B.S. = bullshit = Tony LaRussa trying to convince the Cubs that Fontenot is not good enough so they’re forced to once again fail in a trade for Brian Roberts and sign Adam Kennedy.
CARRIE: Fontenot will get an opportunity to show you and the Cubs that he can be an everyday guy. Heading into Spring Training, Fontenot and Aaron Miles will share time at second base. Who starts during the regular season will depend on who’s hot…
That may be a problem.
CARRIE:…matchups, and if one of them is needed elsewhere.
Hopefully Miles. And hopefully “elsewhere” is Iowa.
CARRIE: Piniella has talked about starting Miles at short and Fontenot at second against some right-handers to give Ryan Theriot a break.
And to give Cubs fans everywhere a nosebleed.
CARRIE: Expect to see both Fontenot and Miles at third this spring.
Well, I guess if they’re BOTH allowed to play there, they might be an adequate defensive third baseman.
CARRIE: With DeRosa’s departure and Ronny Cedeno gone, the Cubs need to see who can play where.
And the best time to find out that you don’t have a viable backup third baseman on the roster is spring.
CARRIE: The Roberts talks won’t be revived any time soon.
Tomorrow’s Headline: CUBS ACQUIRE ROBERTS; SPINSTER WRONG AGAIN
How do you make a contribution to the “We Believe” movie? It’s on the Web site but I can’t find out how to donate?
– Rebecca Y., Chicago
Simple. Just click here.
CARRIE: If you go to the movie’s Web site, webelievethemovie.com, and click on “Be In the Movie,” you’ll see a small title that says “Get Credit.” That’s the form. It costs $100 per name for a credit line in the movie, $50 for the DVD, and 50 percent of the proceeds will benefit Project 3000 and Little Cubs Field. You need to mail payments to We Believe the Movie Films, LLC, 101 W. Grand Avenue, Suite 322, Chicago, IL 60654-7172.
Does Carrie know that her column appears on the internet? If so, why in the name of God would she not just link to the site and to the “Get Credit” button? Also, if you’re thinking about donating, be advised. Once that movie comes out, I’m replacing my “death list” with the credits of that movie.
Welcome back, Muskbox. You were missed, but my aim is getting better.
Tags: Aaron Miles, Carrie Muskat, Geovany Soto, Henry Blanco, Jake Peavy, Koyie Hill, Mark DeRosa, Mike Fontenot, Paul Bako, Ronny Cedeno, Ryan Theriot, Sam Zell, Tom Ricketts
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February 11th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Or Iowa. for short.
February 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
For some reason, the Zell-Ricketts exchange made me think of the Simpsons episode in which Germans take over Homer’s power plant.
“You’ve been safety inspector for five years. What initiatives have you spearheaded?”
“Uh….. all of them?”
February 12th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Who starts depends on who’s hot?
Carrie, we can bring back Ronnie and set him on fire for you.
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Fontenot is the starting 2nd baseman. < See the period
Miles is the backup for 2nd, SS, and 3rd. He is not starting shit. I don’t have a problem with Miles as the utility infielder, but don’t start talking like he is in a competition with Mikey. That shit ain’t funny, MuskBox.
The answer to the Gabor vs. Henry question is just as absurd.
Sadly, Muskbox may be speaking for the organization on this one.
And that’s the sad part. Let’s throw away a superior catcher because we can overpay a douchbag that strikes out left handed.
This search for lefty hitters is getting stupid.
February 12th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
@Lament for another season of crap. – I’m going to assume that the Muskbox has absolutely no access to any inside information, so let’s hope to God she’s NOT speaking for the organization.
February 12th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Kermit,
I’m not talking about inside information.
I’m assuming that our Muskbox was there when an actual sports writer posed this question to Hendry or Lou. This may have been their reply.
The fact that this (signing Gabor over Henry) actually happened is proof that the organization thought this was a good idea.
Lament for another season of crap.
February 12th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
@Lament for another season of crap. – If it makes you feel better, just pretend the “actual sportswriter” was Gordon Wittenmyer, and that Lou or Hendry just likes to fuck with him.
February 12th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Let’s hope Zambrano punches Bako in Spring Training. Or Lilly kills him. Either or. If I can’t have Hank White, I want Koyie Hill. He may be right-handed, but at least he knows the fat part of the bat goes up.Reply – Quote
February 12th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
“Koyie Hill, a switch-hitter, who is back after suffering a horrific hand injury.”
It’d be much better if he replaced the word “injury” with the word “job”.
THAT’D be a reason to give someone 750k.