Barry Bonds’ trial might feel like old news, because technically he hasn’t been found guilty yet. But it’s only a matter of time, right? I mean, the evidence shows that he’s tested positive for three different types of steroids and that his personal trainer shot him up with them. He said he never knowingly used steroids in front of a grand jury. Even if the test results don’t get in, the comments of his personal trainer are pretty damning. Oh, well. On to the Roundup.
- Kermit did a guest Cubs Fantasy Baseball Preview for Razzball. I suspect Grey from Razzball has NO IDEA how terrible Kermit actually is at fantasy baseball.
- In former Cub news, the Reds signed Jacque Jones and Daryle Ward while the Rockies traded for Matt Murton. Expect Daryle to be blocking Joey Votto at first base by May.
- An oft-injured, phenom pitcher is having elbow surgery, and it’s NOT Mark Prior.
- I like Reed Johnson as much as the next guy, but “top athlete in Chicago“? Um.
- The Cubs do what they can to completely ruin a good cause.
- Jeff Samardzija, on the other hand, doesn’t.
- Chad and Trixie are confident that their neighborhood was soaked with urine before the Cubs were sold, and it’s going to continue to be soaked in urine after the sale.
- February 20th is that annual holiday you all love. Virtual Waiting Room Day.
- One Cubs prospect gets an offer he can’t refuse.
- Speaking of Cubs prospects, we’re still looking for the next Hee Seop Choi. Or the first one.
- The MLB Network gets another steal in Bob Costas. Hopefully, this will rekindle Costas’ love of baseball enough for him to murder Bud Selig and Andy MacPhail in their sleep and become the next commissioner.
- No joke, but the Brewers’ broadcast year could seriously look exactly like it did in Major League.
- I’m sorry, but this dad could beat up your dad.
- Okay, which one of you losers has a calculator that adds up this high?
- I’m not looking forward to the invasion.
- Finally, kids on drugs are awesome.
That’s it for me, gang. Have fun sunbathing this weekend in your balmy mid-40s weather.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
That Wrigleyville article is absolutely pointless. I read it twice to figure out what the hell the writer was trying to say. The lede suggests a “Wrigleyville vs. Don Ricketts” article, but it’s just random thoughts on the team from various yahoos that happenn to live within a stone’s throw of the ballpark. When I saw the article a few days ago, I immediately thought the good lord had blessed us with some prime fisking source material, but the only thing worth picking on is this quote from some asshat named TJ D’UR:
Ahem.
Tom Ricketts.
Hockey puck.
Also, sorry for leaving the blockquote tag open in #1.
I’ll stop now.
Somebody just sent me the David after dentist clip because my 17 year old son just had 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled. The ride home was just like this except our high as a kite passenger is 6’2″ and 200 lbs. Wrestling him into the car was cartoonlike.
“knowingly used steroids in front of a grand jury”? I’m guessing his defense is that when he used steriods it was never in front of the grand jury. He always did it in another room.
@Merkle – Have you seen my modifier? I misplaced it somewhere around here.
We had a guy at our Christmas party who must have been to the same dentist. His speech and mannerism were identical.
That ice luge Dad loves his kids roughly 12 billion times more than my Dad loves me.
I wonder if he’d be willing to adopt a 32 year old.
That made me hungry for Calamari.