Hire Jim Essian

Aren't Cubs fans aware of how the rest of the world perceives them? Am I the only one who notices that, thanks to the actions of a select few, Cubs fans are seen primarily as lobotomized simps? It's sad, because we're really not all that bad. Most of the Cubs fans I know are intelligent, realistic, and ... Read More

Since the Friday Night Fukudome is always topical, and since this week has been relatively quiet since the Milton Bradley signing, let's throw the two local sports radio stations into the Fukudome, shake them up, and see which one throws up last. VS. ESPN 1000 The Score ... Read More

Thanks to Skip for handling the Roundup duties for me last week. This week, it's back to serious business. There were so many ludicrous, random news stories this week, that you'll have to forgive me for including a bunch of non-Cubs-related stuff. Actually, I don't give a shit if you're mad at me. Fume away, geeks. ... Read More

Stop the presses. WSCR's Dan Bernstein, actually mentioned HJE (or FJE, depending on who you ask) on his show today (at the 5:55 mark). While I am thrilled that Bernstein was at least mildly amused by the Winter Meetings Preview, I take a bit of issue with the Duke alum (and don't you forget it, mister!) downgrading the ... Read More

Everyone is piling on Jason Marquis and is thrilled that he is no longer in Chicago. As you know, I've been hoping that Sean Marshall would win Marquis' job for the past two seasons. But instead of adding to the pile let's instead flash back to Sunday, September 16, 2007. You remember 2007. Lou Piniella's first ... Read More

Jon (again) was either nice enough to point out that MLB.com is discontinuing the MLB Mailbags or was rubbing it in my face that HJE is now DOOMED because its main source of fun is no more. From the article: Unfortunately, it is my duty to inform you that the Mailbag, as we know it, is no more. MLB.com is doing away ... Read More

Jim Hendry has been suddenly busy this offseason, as today he finally shipped Jason Marquis to the Colorado Rockies for Luis Vizcaino (thanks to Jon for the tip). There's no link, but the Cubs e-mailed out a press release. Vizcaino is crap, and the Cubs have plenty of starters, so this is a salary dump. But that's ... Read More

Shitty O'Kea's, as Dolan affectionately calls it, has become the traditional gathering place on the Friday night of the Cubs Convention for all of you anti-social mutants to make your yearly journey outside of your dank apartments. Since there might be four of you who read HJE and not Desipio who might not know about this event, I figured ... Read More

I have to admit, I'm excited as hell about Milton Bradley becoming a Cub. Not only is he a great player (when healthy), but he is going to keep the summer interesting. Remember when everyone was waiting and waiting for Lou Piniella to snap and sink his teeth into an ump's nose? That old, special feeling is ... Read More

The Cubs have apparently signed (GUESS WHO?) Milton Bradley to a three-year, $30M deal with the Cubs. I guess you could say the Cubs really sank the Nationals' BATTLESHIP, after nearly getting caught up in a bidding CROSSFIRE for Bradley's services. The Cubs' STRATEGO for 2009 is to have Bradley play right field. GO TO THE HEAD ... Read More