Is Steve Rosenbloom the stupidest baseball writer in Chicago? Seriously. Does he even watch baseball games? Because it seems to me that someone who occasionally writes about the Cubs would be somewhat familiar with the former superstar of their division-rival Cincinnati Reds, Adam Dunn. But if he knows anything about Dunn, certainly he wouldn’t dare try to make the argument that Dunn could possibly be capable of patrolling right field at Wrigley, right?
Its Tuesday, and I have all the answers . . .
If only someone cared enough about your opinion to ask you the questions.
The longer you wait, the cheaper Adam Dunn becomes. As in, half the annual salary of Milton Bradley. Thats the way the Braves are playing it.
Now, why do you suppose that might be, Steve? Hmm? Why do you suppose thirty Major League Baseball GMs have shown little to no interest in Dunn to this point in the offseason? How could that be? I’m wracking my brain to think why all thirty of those GMs might not be interested in throwing a 240-pound mongoloid into their outfield mix. I’ll give you a hint.
Obviously, the Cubs decided they needed a combustible, oft-injured left-handed bat right now, no matter how much they had to overpay.
Nope, they wanted the best outfielder on the market outside of Manny Ramirez. And, as anyone with half a brain knows, Milton Bradley is a better outfielder than even Manny. Manny’s absurd talent at the plate trumps his atrocious defense in the field, though. Dunn doesn’t have that luxury.
Full disclosure: The Braves are also talking about acquiring Nick Swisher from the Yankees, so they might have talent evaluation issues, too.
The same might be suggested about the Tribune’s hiring of you, Steve.
But just for bloguments sake, Dunn hits 40 homers a year; Bradley didnt play even 40 games in the outfield last year. Dunn has driven in at least 100 runs in five of the last six seasons; Bradley has never driven in more than 77 in a season.
Bradley plays the outfield like an actual Major League Baseball outfielder; Dunn plays the outfield like he has Parkinson’s. Also, “blogument”? That word is so blogtarded. Only a bloglodite like you would make up such a blogsensical word. When Blog was handing out the brains, were you blogging your blogpole in the blogthroom?
Isnt that the point of the guy Cubs manager Lou Piniella whined and yelped and begged for?
Wait, did I miss a sentence? Is WHAT the point of that guy? Driving in runs? Playing games? Hitting homers? All of the above? None of the above? I don’t know what in Blog’s name you’re referring to, Steve.
But heres the thing: The part of Bradleys game the Cubs prattle on about favors Dunn, as well, with a career .381 on-base percentage compared to Bradleys .370.
And, assuming both players get 520 at-bats next season, that .011 difference in on-base percentage translates to a whopping six times next season that Dunn will reach safely over Bradley. If you subtract the four times that the opposing first baseman will tell Dunn his shoe is untied, causing Dunn to look down and get picked off, that number is down to two in favor of Dunn. And that’s not considering the fact that you could grow a sequoia tree in right field next year and get the same caliber of defense that Dunn plays.
And as far as some of the stuff youre looking for in the middle of the order, Bradley is eating Dunns pine tar — a .457 slugging percentage compared to Dunns .518 and a 118 on-base-plus-slugging percentage compared to 130.
YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE?! INSTEAD OF SAYING BRADLEY IS EATING DUNN’S “DUST,” HE USED “PINE TAR,” WHICH IS A BASEBALL-RELATED TERM! DID YOU KNOW THERE IS NO DUST ON BASEBALL DIAMONDS?
Plus, if the Cubs had signed Dunn instead of Bradley, theyd probably have the best quarterback in the city.
You hear that, Kyle Orton?! YOUR TABLE IS READY!!! Despite your standout college football career and your serviceable, if unspectacular professional football career, you’re not as good as a guy who hasn’t taken a snap in an organized football game since he was a high school senior. Orton, party of one! We’re all out of booths, so I hope this table next to these drunk high school seniors will be sufficient. You’ll be sitting next to the bathroom AND the kitchen underneath this drafty window. Also, the waiter sneezed on your food!
God damnit, Rosenbloom. Stop writing about baseball, so I can try to forget that you exist.
Among Rosenbloom, Rogers, Morrisey,and Slezak–who have all been especially awful of late(no small feat)–I’m suffering from hack writer overload. Thank you for this.
Haha
“When Blog was handing out the brains, were you blogging your blogpole in the blogthroom?”
I hope the Wrongenblog gets blogterial blogengitis.
What the Blog is he talking about??? He is so blogging blog.
“Full disclosure: The Tribune also employs Rick Morrissey so they might have talent evaluation issues, too.”
Wow, a 130 ops. That is pretty awful. Do you think he might not realize that ops and ops+ aren’t the same thing?
I like the comments on the trib site following the article. Right now, Rosenpenis is probably sitting in a stall in the ladies’ restroom. Sobbing softly.
Someone should explain to that retard that OPS+ is not “on-base-plus-slugging percentage”. Also, comparing career numbers is idiotic when trying to predict next year. Dunn’s last 3 years are 129/130/127. Bradley: 114/153/163.
The crazy thing about that article is that there’s the obvious failure of Bradley to stay healthy that could be the basis of a pro-Dunn argument. It’s dumb because Dunn’s negative fielding ability is a bigger minus, but at least it’s rational.
Instead he had to try and cherry pick stats he doesn’t understand.
He’s just stating that he might rather have a crappy-fielding slugger who plays 150 games over an oft-injured head case who’s a great hitter and an above average fielder (when he’s not limping, crying to the media or trying to punch Len Kasper).
Everyone needs to breathe. The Cubs signed Bradley. They aren’t going to sign Dunn.
I wish I had the time to create a blog where I could criticize every word other people write about hypothetical situations.
I love how all these newspaper writers are now writing the exact same things that they used to, but formatting it slightly differently, calling it a “blog”, and acting like they’re doing some new, innovative thing.
BK just RosenROLLED us!
By quoting OPS AND RBI statistics, Rosenbloom is in a virtual purgatory, stuck in between statfaggory and REAL MAN baseball knowledge.
I live just north of Columbus, Ohio. During Dunn’s time with the Reds, every time he dived for a ball I felt it up here.
I’m going to have to ask you to blog out of my store right now and blog again.
Well, that makes one of us.
Tough to fit blogging into your busy schedule of WoW and LARP festivals?
Dust? We don’t need no stinkin’ dust
Take another shot at Kyle Orton, Rosendoom, and I will be waiting.
“…you could grow a sequoia tree in right field next year and get the same caliber of defense that Dunn plays.”
I don’t know what you have against sequoia trees, but that was insulting.
why do you care about a guy who is so bad at his job the only thing he gets published in the paper is his “poker” column
With Dunn in right field, more balls would drop at Wrigley than at an all boys junior high school.
Zing.
My favorite Rosenbloom moment came about five years ago when he was a guest panelist on that Chicago Tonight Week in Review show on Channel 11. He shows up with a bunch of his one-liner cheap shots ready to go. Gets two or three into them before being cut off by the host, who asks him the PBS equivalent of “are you always this much of a dickhead?”
I never liked Rosenblooms columns. I always found them to be, for lack of a better word, stupid. I do not know how he keeps a job at a leading American Newspaper with his opinions. He really must kiss some serious a@@ at tribune tower to be employeed.