In yet another move clearly designed to get Jake Peavy in a Cubs uniform, Jim Hendry traded Felix Pie and his out-of-control testicles to the Baltimore Orioles for LHP Garrett Olson and RHP Henry Williamson. I’m assuming this is part of the increasingly-more-complicated Peavy-for-Gathright, Miles, some dudes from the Indians, and some other dudes from the Orioles trade.
Olson sucked in Baltimore last year, but he struck out a hell of a lot of guys in AAA in 2007. He also isn’t Neal Cotts. Williamson was born after Back to the Future came out, so the jury is still out on him.
What the hell is wrong with the Orioles? Do they get off on collecting cast-off former Cub “prospects”?
If this trade (ever) happens, I demand Hendry use the term “some dudes from the Indians and some other dudes from the Orioles” during the announcement.
I would prefer Jabronis instead of dudes.
How about “bros”?
Over the past three years, Andy McPhail has done a wonderful job adapting Colossus — the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty — to represent the traffic between the Cubs and Orioles. I got a copy of his letter to Jim Hendry right here:
Dear Jim:
Give me your failed, your overrated,
Your can’t-miss “five toolers” yearning to bat leadoff,
The rag-armed relievers of your failed past drafts.
Send these, the stone-handed fielders, and can’t-hit-the-curve batters, to me:
I lift my checkbook beside the Camden Yard.
@Fork – Bro, that would brow my mind right out of the H-2-bro.
Wanting to get Peavy, is like having the same reoccuring wet dream. It’s a hell of a dream, but when you wake up you realise it ain’t coming true.
The best part of this for me, though, is that Hendry is trading away another one of those paper hero types that we have been insisted to on multiple occasions by some that if the Cubs “just give him time, he’ll succeed beyond our wildest dreams”, like Matt Murton in the Harden trade.
I don’t know what will come out of this trade, and I wish Pie the best of luck, but I’m just glad I don’t have to listen to the constant calls to hand him the centerfield job at the expense of time for players who are actually useful at the major league level.
If we trade Miles, we will only have two second basemen left.
I feel the same way about this trade that I did about the DeRosa trade. If the spare parts we got in return are able to be converted into Jake Ryan, er, Peavy by our intrepid GM, then it’s bloody damn brilliant.
If not, then we absolutely gave away Pie. The guy has 290 career MLB at-bats, approximately half of a full season. It’s a bit early to hang the K-Patt toe-tags on his career, especially when you take into account his considerable defensive skills.
(Yeah, yeah. I realize we’re in WIN RIGHT FUCKING NOW mode and have no time for trifles such as developing talent, etc. But I always thought he was a nice insurance policy to have.)
Felix Pie = Corey Patterson v2.0
He’ll be playing for Dusty in no time…oh wait, not until he reaches the ripe old age of 30. And Dusty most likely won’t have a job after this season.