Thanks to Skip for handling the Roundup duties for me last week. This week, it’s back to serious business. There were so many ludicrous, random news stories this week, that you’ll have to forgive me for including a bunch of non-Cubs-related stuff. Actually, I don’t give a shit if you’re mad at me. Fume away, geeks. Anyhow, here’s the Roundup:
- Milton Bradley is besmirching the legacy of Samuel Peralta Sosa by wearing his old number 21! It’s going to make the Sosa jersey retirement ceremony awkward when they have to hang Bradley from the foul pole in full uniform. It’ll be even MORE awkward when we sign Sosa, and he has to wear number 99.
- Chris DeLuca is
retardedalready bitching about Jim Hendry’s offseason moves. Because apparently Chone Figgins or Brian Roberts would have been a better acquisition than Milton Bradley, since Bradley is a big meanie. - “Jim Hendry Way“? Seriously? How the hell did my proposal to place a giant sign over the Skyway that reads “WELCOME TO PINIELLATOWN” get rejected?
- Wow. Mark Cuban is WAY more boring than I assumed he was.
- Couldn’t Sergio Mitre have done some drugs while he was playing with the Cubs? I know several Cubs fans who were forced to do drugs every time he started.
- How many MLB teams can you name in three minutes? Ronnie Cedeno got one. I’m not sure why it shows 31 teams, because you only need to name 30.
- It’s too bad nothing related to Hitler is ever funny, because I laughed pretty hard at these common resume mistakes.
- I suspect whatever caused this will arrive at planet Earth during Game 7 of the World Series at Wrigley Field with two down in the top of the 9th, and the Cubs leading 12-0.
- Australia. Home of marsupials, the Great Barrier Reef, Paul Hogan, and some dude who rapes inflatable sex dolls. Now that I think of it, let’s not rule out Hogan as a suspect.
That’s it for me. Only seven more days until I have to stand outside the Hilton and tell you drunken idiots I’m the wallet inspector.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
