Future News: Predicting the 2009 Milton Bradley Headlines
Posted by Bad Kermit on Tue, Jan 6, 2009
I have to admit, I’m excited as hell about Milton Bradley becoming a Cub. Not only is he a great player (when healthy), but he is going to keep the summer interesting. Remember when everyone was waiting and waiting for Lou Piniella to snap and sink his teeth into an ump’s nose? That old, special feeling is going to be back this summer until the first time we get to see Crazy Uncle Milton try to smother Rick Ankiel with his own chin. It’s going to be awesome. Since Dolan already covered Crazy Uncle Milton’s previous exploits, I figured HJE could do you the favor of covering Milton’s upcoming foibles. So, here are the future headlines for the 2009 Cubs season:
- Bradley, Zambrano Ejected in Sixth-Inning Monkey Knife Fight
- Bradley to Piniella: “F@#$ Pants”
- Bradley, Drew Peterson Seen at Night Club
- Bradley Calls Dempster’s Stand-Up Set “Hilarious”
- Bradley Purchases The Happening on Blu-Ray
- Bradley to Start Mortgage Lending Company
- Bradley Declares Carl Everett His “Life Coach”
- Bradley Spends Salary on Charity, Magic Beans
- Seven Dead; Bradley, Lilly Questioned
- Bradley Hits Walkoff Slam, Denny’s Hostess
Tags: Carl Everett, Carlos Zambrano, Lou Piniella, Milton Bradley, Ryan Dempster
BigFlax
StPatrick
PenFoe
CT
Bocaj
January 6th, 2009 at 8:41 am
It’s gonna be one hell of a summer!!!
January 6th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Z Lou and Bradley on the same team? It is going to be an interesting summer.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Bradley bans Yellon from bleachers
January 6th, 2009 at 9:38 am
I have feeling this summer may turn out to be pretty dull…err…no, I mean interesting. Yeah, interesting!
January 6th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Let’s hope he can channel that inner rage at whatever and hit doubles and triples, especially triples. A few GW HR would be good, too.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Piniella, Big Z, and Bradley completes our rage trifecta.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:04 am
(Can we post images anymore?)
January 6th, 2009 at 11:12 am
@Brick – Apparently. The IMG SRC tag should work.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Bradley wins MVP.
I stand by this one.
He’s going to be our Kirk Gibson.
January 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Long as he stays off the DL, I’ll be happy. Healthy, the guy’s a beast. And the Bradley beatdowns he’ll administer to anyone foolish enough to make racial cracks (as directed at Super Jock and LaTroya Hawkins) will be highly entertaining as well.
January 6th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
January 6th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Better Kirk than Debbie
January 6th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
@Mike – Clearly you never saw Debbie’s Playboy shoot.
January 7th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
They don’t allow such material in solitary. Only dogearred copies of Boys Life.