The Cubs have apparently signed (GUESS WHO?) Milton Bradley to a three-year, $30M deal with the Cubs. I guess you could say the Cubs really sank the Nationals’ BATTLESHIP, after nearly getting caught up in a bidding CROSSFIRE for Bradley’s services. The Cubs’ STRATEGO for 2009 is to have Bradley play right field. GO TO THE HEAD OF THE CLASS, Jim Hendry. Although the beginning of the offseason was slower than a pack of HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS, you’ve had ANTS IN YOUR PANTS the past week. Or at least a pantload of MOUSE TRAPs. This is one of the better free agent signings Hendry has made in his LIFE as the Cubs’ GM. At least the best since he signed Ted Lilly right before he had that OPERATION. Sure, Milton’s been known to have a shorter fuse than the residents of FIREBALL ISLAND, but I’m happier than a kid in CANDY LAND!