Hire Jim Essian

Assuming Rich Hill ends up getting traded to Baltimore, that is an awful lot of Cubs castoffs who have been traded to the Orioles. So, let's throw some of the "top" players into the Fukudome and see what we get. VS. VS. VS. Rich Hill Corey Patterson Felix Pie Sammy Sosa ... Read More

I guess that "Ballpark Village" is going to be indefinitely postponed so that Cardinals fans can write hilarious things in the snow about the Cubs next to their crappy park. Thanks to Ryan for sending us the pictures. Now, for the Roundup: If you were worried that Jim Hendry was going to do something stupid like sign Juan Uribe, ... Read More

In which Dolan and I return from a long hiatus, reminisce about the outgoing Cubs, and welcome in the new Cubs. Click HERE to download the Podcast. Click HERE to subscribe to the Podcast. Or, click the big green button below to stream. ... Read More

Had to go in to the way back machine for this one...all the way to Sunday, which is like 4 years in Internet time, but this did not deserve to go unmentioned. And ridiculed. Carol, you magnificent bastard, you've cured me of my lethargy. Dear Tom Ricketts: I'm assuming you and your family will close the deal. ... Read More

The Cubs have apparently shipped Ronny Cedeno and Garrett Olson to the Seattle Mariners for former Mets reliever/swing man Aaron Heilman. I'm going to shamelessly name-drop here. I was Heilman's R.A. when he was down at Notre Dame, and he's one of the nicest, most level-headed people I've ever SMOKED in darts. I'm glad, for his sake, ... Read More

Is Steve Rosenbloom the stupidest baseball writer in Chicago? Seriously. Does he even watch baseball games? Because it seems to me that someone who occasionally writes about the Cubs would be somewhat familiar with the former superstar of their division-rival Cincinnati Reds, Adam Dunn. But if he knows anything about Dunn, certainly he wouldn't dare try ... Read More

We're entering the worst couple of weeks of baseball fandom. We've waited just about as long as possible between any sort of baseball action. Unless you care where Adam Dunn ends up playing, there hasn't been much interesting cooking on the Hot Stove. So, I was going to make fun of the MLB Network today. I ... Read More

Normally, I like to thank those who point me toward interesting, ridiculous, funny, or informative sites that I use when I write for HJE. Generally, I appreciate the tips, links, and wisecracks. Not this time. God damn you, person who directed me to "AJ Rox My White Sox." God damn you straight to hell. If ... Read More

As you know, the Cubs did not re-sign fan favorite Hank White as their backup catcher. Presumably, they will go with either Paul Bako or Koyie Hill as their backup. Unfortunately, Geovany Soto can't possibly start 162 games, which brings us to our Friday Night Fukudome. VS. Paul Bako Koyie Hill ... Read More

Well, I guess the big news around here is that someone else is going to be signing my paychecks really soon. And that someone is J. Joe Ricketts. The team is supposedly going to be sold for $900M. That's $9M for each year this team hasn't won a World Series, if you're into doing "math." Rest ... Read More