How long has this chili been in the fridge? I don’t remember the last time I had chili. Did J-Kerm say, “Don’t forget to throw out that chili” before she left? Or was that, “Don’t forget to wear your coat when it’s chilly”? Is that a green pepper in there?
Back in the days when people killed and ate their meat without refrigerators, how long did the meat keep before it would kill them? Three days? What if I soak it in vodka before I eat it? Can anything toxic survive ten minutes in a microwave? What if I pour off this juice bubbling on the surface of it? Can I just eat around the meat? Tomatoes and beans don’t go bad, do they?
What is that smell? Is that the dogs? Is that the chili? What’s the number for poison control? If I get sick, do I have to go to work tomorrow?
Oh, fuck it. I’ll just order a pizza.
Oh God, I’m ready for April.
And the picture of the chili makes me hungry – was it made with beans? It looks beanless, which is better. That amount would have been enough for BK and the puppies.
Is Kermit dead? He posted the Muskbag, and hasn’t been heard from since. Did he take a chance on the chili? Are his beagles now feeding on his carcass?
Unfortunately for you guys, I’m still here. Just haven’t had as much time as I’d like to write.