You finally get a Godfather quote and it’s from Godfather III. How does THAT feel? Anyhow, I saw the Muskbag was back, and I couldn’t let that aggression go unchecked.

I noticed that Ryan Dempster is eligible to become a free agent this offseason. Are the Cubs going to re-sign him? Who else is eligible for free agency?
– Steve K., Wheaton, Ill.

I would love to see the article that Steve K. consulted before firing out that beauty.

CARRIE: General manager Jim Hendry has made it no secret that Dempster is a favorite, that he’s exactly the type of player the Cubs need, both in the rotation and in the clubhouse.

Yep. The Cubs absolutely love those collecting those guys who are awesome during the regular season and then turn to Jell-O during the playoffs.

CARRIE: However, Dempster will be tempted by offers from other teams in need of pitching. Hendry first has to get an idea from Cubs chairman Crane Kenney on the budget available, then he’ll meet with the staff Oct. 19 in Arizona to go over their wish list and establish a game plan.

TRANSLATION: Get used to disappointment.

CARRIE: Besides Dempster, other free agents include Kerry Wood, Jim Edmonds, Chad Fox, Bob Howry, Jon Lieber and Daryle Ward. Wood also has a good relationship with Hendry, has spent his entire career with the Cubs and made it through his first season as closer without a problem, except for a blister. That’s a lot easier to deal with than the shoulder injuries that have plagued Wood in his career. Players can file for free agency after the World Series ends.

That’s good. They won’t be distracted by contract issues when they’re making their historic World Series run.

What is the significance of the camouflage wristband worn by Reed Johnson? Is it in support of our troops or another organization?
– Marla D., Champaign, Ill.

“Another organization”? Is Marla suggesting that Reed Johnson is a terrorist?

CARRIE: He wears it in support of a friend who served in Iraq in the Army. His friend is home now, but Johnson still wears the wristband.

When are Dusty Baker’s friends going to get home?

Rich Harden’s ERA is slightly above 2.00, but he is not mentioned in the top five for ERA in the league, even though his is lower than everyone’s on the list. How come?
– Fulton G., Elmwood Park, Ill.

Probably for the same reason that my 0.00 MLB ERA last season is never mentioned in the top five in the league.

CARRIE: Harden did finish with an impressive 10-2 record and 2.07 ERA for the 2008 season, but that’s combined from his days with the Athletics and with the Cubs. You’re looking at the league leaders, and he did not have enough innings with Chicago to qualify for the National League honors. A pitcher must have a minimum of one inning pitched per team game to qualify. Harden finished with 77 innings in 13 starts with the A’s and 71 innings in 12 starts with the Cubs. The Mets’ Johan Santana compiled a 2.53 ERA in 234 1/2 innings to claim the NL ERA honors, and Dempster finished fourth with a 2.96 ERA in 206 2/3 innings.

First, I would love to know how Johan Santana managed to pitch 234 and a HALF innings. Second, Johan just barely edged out CC Sabathia’s 230 innings pitched for the Brewers.

Also, CC Sabathia is fat.

Ryan Theriot had 178 hits on the season. What’s the team record for most hits by a shortstop in a single season?
– Paul T., Hobart, Ind.

Is this the third time a Son of Jim Essian sneaked one past the goalie? I guess there’s only one appropriate response: Shut up, Paul. You’re a douche.

CARRIE: Cubs shortstop Woody English totaled 214 hits in 1930 and is the team’s single-season leader.

I really don’t think that answered Paul’s question at all. He didn’t ask which Cubs shortstop holds the record for most hits in a single season. He asked about any shortstop.

Since Carrie has failed to achieve, even in the modest task that was her charge, I have no choice but to tell these bums that they should do whatever is necessary to get their answer from you, Ed Hartig. And with Baseball-Reference as my witness, I tell you this: Any further question that Carrie fails to answer, shall be visited tenfold upon YOUR head, Hartig.

I noticed that the Cubs had six players with 20 or more home runs this year. How common/rare is that feat for the Cubs?
– Dave J., Rochelle, Ill.

And for that Back-to-Back Stats question, Dave J. of Rochelle, Illinois wins $1,000.

CARRIE: Actually, there were five: Alfonso Soriano (29), Aramis Ramirez (27), Geovany Soto (23), Mark DeRosa (21) and Derrek Lee (20). Edmonds hit 20 for the season, but one of those was with the San Diego Padres. The Cubs have had at least five players with 20 homers three times. The other two were in 2004 (Ramirez, Lee, Moises Alou, Sammy Sosa and Corey Patterson) and 1958 (Ernie Banks, Walt Moryn, Lee Walls, Bobby Thomson and Dale Long). The 2008 season was only the second time in franchise history in which the Cubs had five players with 20 or more homers and four with 80 or more RBIs.

The big difference between the 2004 team and the 2008 team is that I didn’t actively hate the 2008 team with all of my black heart. Look at the list of hooligans, cads, and ne’er-do-wells on the 2004 team:

Michael Barrett
Todd Walker
Ramon Martinez
Moises Alou
Corey Patterson
Sammy Sosa
Jose Macias
Paul Bako
Alex Gonzalez
Tom Goodwin
Neifi Perez
Rey Ordonez
Jason Dubois
Ben Grieve
Damian Jackson
David Kelton
Calvin Murray
Mike Difelice
Matt Clement
Mark Prior
LaTroy Hawkins
Kyle Farnsworth
Kent Mercker
Mike Remlinger
Francis Beltran
Jon Leicester
Todd Wellemeyer
Jimmy Anderson
Andy Pratt

Jesus Christ. I think if they’d have made the postseason, I would have rooted against them.

I was wondering if Micah Hoffpauir can play any position other than first base. I see a potential star in him. Plus, he’s a lefty, which is exactly what the Cubs need in the lineup.
– Bayas M., Chicago

Well, since he played twice as many games (12) at the corner outfield positions than he did at first base, I’m thinking Bayas doesn’t follow the Cubs very closely. Fortunately for Bayas, Oneri Fleita has opened the door for oddly-named, incompetent scouts the world over.

CARRIE: Hoffpauir can play the corner outfield spots, but one of the reasons he was left off the playoff roster was because the Cubs knew Felix Pie was better defensively and also could pinch run. Hoffpauir won’t win any Gold Gloves in the outfield. And yes, the team does need another left-handed bat.

Unfortunately for Felix, there has to be someone on base before you’re allowed to insert a pinch runner.

How will the Cubs handle tickets that were purchased for postseason games that weren’t played? I haven’t been able to find any information.
– John D., Naperville, Ill.

ALL YOUR MONEY ARE BELONG TO THE CUBS.

Actually, this is a good question (NAPERTHRILL!). I’m still waiting for either (1) my credit card to be credited for about $100, or (2) Game Five of the NLDS.

CARRIE: For fans who purchased tickets online directly through Tickets.com or Cubs.com for the Division Series Home Game 3, or any League Championship Series games to be played at Wrigley Field, you will receive an automatic credit to the original credit cards used for purchasing the tickets. These credits are expected to appear on your credit card statement no later than Friday, Oct. 17. Go to the Tickets section of Cubs.com and click Postseason Tickets for more information.

For information, OR to purchase postseason tickets! Ha ha ha ha ha!

I’m still not over it. You assholes.

Do you know how I can get tickets for the World Baseball Classic in March that will be played in Mexico?
– Ernesto U., Naucalpan, Mexico

Seriously? Seriously?

Considering she took this question, I’m sure Carrie will at least have an answer for the one person in Mexico searching on Cubs.com for answers to their World Baseball Classic questions five months in advance.

CARRIE: I don’t have any details and would expect information on MLB.com when tickets are available. You also could check with the stadium that will host the event. They may be able to help.

I was wondering if any rookie catchers besides Geovany Soto have caught a no-hitter?
– Chris H., Chicago

I don’t care about this question, but I wanted to take the opportunity to remind everyone that Kent Mercker has been a part of TWO no-hitters in his career.

Kent Mercker!

CARRIE: Baseball researcher Ed Hartig says at minimum, Danny Breeden caught Ken Holtzman’s no-hitter on June 3, 1971. Soto was behind the plate for Carlos Zambrano’s no-no Sept. 14.

Here’s another interesting bit of trivia. Did you know that Danny Breeden was actually the BETTER Breeden in baseball…in 1971…on the Cubs. That’s right. They had both Breedens, Danny and Hal. They COMBINED for an .866 OPS for the Cubs that year. You might say that their home was a Breeden ground for bad baseball players.

But don’t feel obligated to say that.