A Comedy of Eras

Oh, Dick Stockton. You and your horrible enunciation. You guys know I don’t EVER use hyperbole, but the first two games of this series ARE THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED. But, you want some positives? Here you go:

  1. Carlos Zambrano was really good Thursday night.
  2. Rich Harden and Ted Lilly are by far the best 3-4 pitchers in the postseason.
  3. Manny or no Manny, regardless of the outcome of the first two games of this series, the Dodgers ARE NOT AS GOOD AS THE CUBS.
  4. Maybe Lou will wise up to the fact that Fukudome is completely useless right now.
  5. Lou Piniella might drop trou at some point during Game Three.
  6. This team has already taken three in a row from the Dodgers this year.
  7. There is a possibility that Frank Caliendo might die before Game Three.
  8. If the Dodgers win, there is a small possibility that Alyssa Milano will streak the field.



GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND WIN THREE IN A ROW.

BallHype: hype it up!

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Comments

Lou in the postgame just said Fukudome won’t see the field for the rest of the series and would play Johnson or Fontenot. So that is one positive.

@Dave - I saw that. Lou sounded like he wanted to murder Kosuke.

@Bad Kermit - Cub fan love him short time.

For as bad as Kosuke’s been, let’s face it - he’s not the reason it’s 0-2. If I’m bizarro John Madden, Ryan Dempster and, collectively, the infield defense go on the horse manure trailer for the first two games. That said, please put Johnson in right. Clearly an extra lefty bat is not making a difference.

What are the odds? Good points BK especially #2&6. If we can’t win 3 we don’t deserve it so lets win the next 3. The only problem is you can play a completely different challenging game in a series when you have an advantage unlike the 162 game season where tomorrow is another day. If your down 0-2 in an NBA series, forget it.In baseball there is no clock. The Cubs have played their worst ball the last 2 games. The defense has effected the offense. The Cubs had the biggest run differential in season. We need to continue that.

Oh that Alyssa Milano ! Hmm I’d like to poke her Acapulco Taco Pie!

I’m really dreading this day at work. I can make my peace with them losing. It sucks. I want to fucking kill them. But I can deal with it. What I won’t be able to deal with is the slew of Cardinal fans saying it’s just another “Cubbie occurrence” and how they blow it every year. Just basically a bunch of blanket statements that are very inaccurate. Plus why do people hate the Cubs? Makes no sense. If you’re going to hate someone, hate someone that wins something. Hate the Yankees. Hate the Cowboys. Hate the Lakers. Hate teams that win. Hating the Cubs seems so fucking petty that I almost believe that people are jealous of the Cubs. Why, I don’t know, but I have no logical explanation for it. It’s almost like people feel like they’re the middle child who does well and doesn’t get attention but they hate they’re younger sibling who fucks up all the time but still gets attention.

Also…. FUCK this team. That feels good.

I’m not a violent person, but if I was sitting next to that Dodgers fan in the above picture I’d probably have to punch him in the throat.

Fuck Lou wanting to murder Kosuke. I want to murder Lou. For a guy who, as Andy said, “Uses all the bullets in the chamber and then throws the gun at you”, then chooses to keep Kosuke up in the 7th and 9th when there was just a glimmer of hope, it’s beyond explainable.

Then again that’s probably the least of our worries, but how does an entire team drop every philosophy they lived by during the regular season as soon as October hits?

They get to go to Cali and relax. Throw Harden in game 3. Theodore Roosevelt Lilly in game 4. Dempster, coming off only his 2d bad start ALL YEAR to return AT HOME for game 5. He’ll be back to dominant again.

I tell you, they’ve got them right where they want them. Nothing to worry about.

Think of it as sort of a reverse ‘84 Padres.

Originally Posted By JadenFuck Lou wanting to murder Kosuke. I want to murder Lou. For a guy who, as Andy said, “Uses all the bullets in the chamber and then throws the gun at you”, then chooses to keep Kosuke up in the 7th and 9th when there was just a glimmer of hope, it’s beyond explainable.

Then again that’s probably the least of our worries, but how does an entire team drop every philosophy they lived by during the regular season as soon as October hits?

Precisely! How is it that they play great baseball and, when it’s time for sphincter-check baseball, they seem to lose control and crap all over themselves? Yesterday’s game was so painful to watch I need some narcotics to deaden the pain. They played like the Rays did the first few years, not like the team that is the NL best, w/l-wise, during the regular season.

@Psycho Chicken - I’d say the Cubs are the team with the best chance to overcome a 2 game deficit. We may not have the best 1-2 punch but we definately have the best 3-4 punch.

@BigFlax - True, Kosuke didn’t cost the Cubs the first two games of the series, but he had no business starting in the first place. DeRosa should have been out in right with Fontenot at second. Had Lou used that lineup last night, that double play gets turned in the second and it’s a whole different ballgame.

@Drunk Cubs Fan -

Absolutely correct. Lou’s mistake wasn’t in leaving the Polynesian Piroutter in the game, it was starting him in the first place. Fontenot may not be a better fielder than Derosa, but that’s a play that either of them should make easily. Fontenot’s only focus is playing ball. Derosa fantasizes about partying with the awesome Wrigley Field fans if they win at home and his footwork on that clusterfuck of a routine inning-ending double player is evidence that he wasn’t ready for a ball hit DIRECTLY AT HIM.

I think Frank TV only lasted like 4 episodes last year. This means Frank got more airtime advertising his play during last year’s playoffs than he did actually doing the show. Here’s hoping the same thing happens this year!

Also I think one of the writers at FJM writes for Frank as well as Carson Daly, which is just kind of weird.

There is certainly enough blame to go around but the Dodgers finished really strong and figured to be a real handful with that pitching staff.

Dempster showed along with that stink bomb he laid on Fox a couple of weeks ago, that he doesn’t handle the spotlight real well unless he’s cracking some jokes.

Piniella has once again demonstarted he lacks the most critical attribute of being a big game manager, making strategic late game pitching moves.

Of course managers have to prune out the dead weight on the team and reward performance, but managing the pitching staff is the most difficult and consequently is one of the biggest game changers.

The Dempster issue was not an isolated instance of Piniella as we’ve all seen with horror everytime Howry trots out to the mound. In a playoff series you just don’t ride out the rough patches. A greater sense of urgency needs to be incorporated in your decision making process. During a regular season game you might in fact not pull your starter with only one out to get in the fourth inning when you’re ahead, but a playoff game in a short series is a different matter entirely.

The piroeutting pussy is another brain cramp by Piniella. Piniella said you don’t fuck with your lineup just because it’s the playoffs, then bats this lame 2nd in game 1, wtf?

@mister cheezle -

you should try living out here. it’s funny, but most years when the dodgers don’t win the weakest division in baseball, they don’t seem to have any “fans”… but let them back into the playoffs, and then let the other team play their worst games of the year and hand them a 2 game lead, and suddenly they crawl out of the woodwork. of course, they know nothing about the game, nothing about either team, all they seem to know is ‘you guys suck’. it would be nice to know that people like that a-hole in the picture will feel it like a knife in the heart WHEN they get murdered by the phillies, but the sad truth is that they will care less. ALL dodger fans are bandwagon jumping opportunists who spend all game texting their homies to try and see them on tv, and who show up late and leave early. the most hardcore dodger fan is a below average Cubs fan…

so, my point… yeah, i’d like to punch that jerk in the throat, too… and frankly, for doing something like that to an obviously hurting fan, all the Cubs fans around him should have at least made him think he was about to be beaten to within an inch of his life… but then again, he has to go around with that ugly grill for the rest of his days… and he’s a dodger fan. so he will always have to live with that.

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