First of all, thanks to TJ Brown for the picture. Secondly, holy crap. Is it really the end of September? It seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the birth of our country by firing explosives into the air and stuffing Lee Greenwood into a dumpster. Whaddya mean, “That WAS just yesterday”? Anyhow, it’s time for your last Roundup of the regular season. It’s a long one, so cancel your morning appointments:

• Well, duh.
• Is it irony if a White Sox fan makes fun of the Twins for not selling out a big game? I never know.
• What the hell is this? Shouldn’t you guys be taking batting practice, or something?
• Four words, eh? How about: “Congratulations. Worst post ever.” Thanks to Jon for the link.
• I don’t know. Geovany Soto? Aramis Ramirez? Ryan Dempster? Carlos Marmol? Mark DeRosa?
• This is why you don’t try hard when the games don’t matter. Or all the time, if you’re Chuck’s imaginary version of Alfonso Soriano.
• Kerm forgot to post this right after it happened, and the quality sucks because he took the picture with his phone, but WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS GUY?
  
  
  
  
  
• I have 1,700 career wins. You think NOW Carlos Zambrano can start listening to me?
• When you get tickets for the playoffs, Kerm asked me to remind you to buy an extra for him. You will not be reimbursed. At least not with cash.
• Well, at least we still kicked their ass in the Revolutionary War. Thanks to Jeffrey for the link.
• The one thing I’m going to miss about Shea Stadium are the handful of games during the season in which we don’t have to listen to Santo “Woe is us!” his way around the broadcast booth. Incidentally, did anyone catch Tuesday and Wednesday night’s games when Pat Hughes was in the booth by himself for the first couple of innings? I don’t want to say he’s the next Vin Scully, but he’s clearly the next Vin Scully.
• I couldn’t care less whether the White Sox make the playoffs or not, but that doesn’t make what’s happening to them any less hilarious. At least no one is letting the pressure get to them.
• The Mets could have used this shot in the arm during that last series.
• I really wish the bomb squad guy would have pulled a Carl Spackler, unwrapped the “bomb,” and taken a huge bite out of it, to the horror of the guys around him.
• Have you been looking for an article that compiles every ridiculous, shitty cliche about our team into one festering pile of horrid journalism? Well, have I got a treat for YOU.
• I guess the horridly-named RosenBlog just means Steve can write even stupider articles than his regular ones, since they’re not going into print. Is that what it means?
• First we turn on the Hadron collider, and now there’s suddenly a giant black hole sucking in the entire universe? That reminds me of this one time I saw some chick take a golf ball and- I’ve said too much. Anyhow, do you think the universe can at least hold off until the end of October to destroy everything in existence?
• It was a bad idea for the Mets to give Todd Hundley a lifetime of free season tickets.
• Does this mean I can press charges against Sinatro?
• You’re not going to get rid of me just by winning a measly World Series.
• Looks like Corey Patterson finally found something he can hit.
• “Secret Sauce” is NOT what I thought it would be.
• At this time two years ago, do you think ANY Cubs fan would have wanted Jim Hendry back in 2009?
• Steve Stone has great hindsight, what with him having his head up his fucking ass all the time. Fuck you, Stone, you arrogant douche.
• Well, at least we’re not passing around a thong like the Yankees did.
• Common sense about the proposed alcohol ban from…Richard Roeper?
• Good to see the “Steinbrenner is a fucking asshole” legacy is still in good hands.
• For a big-budget team, the Mets suck this year, and I guess they’re content with continuing to suck for the next four years.
• Bruce Miles takes a look at how we made it to the top.
• A cool look back at the clincher from SKO.
• It will be a fine day indeed when this website is updated.
• Good to know that LaTroy Hawkins is still as classy and level-headed as ever.
• Only in Green Bay…would they allow cheerleaders to be that ugly.
• This commercial is still awesome.
• Holy Taco keeps bringing the heat (technically SFW, but probably NSFW).

Whew. If that isn’t enough for you to read, then you’re reading too fast, smart guy. QUIT SHOWING OFF! At this time next week, you’ll be reading a playoff edition of the Roundup. Enjoy this weekend, the moment of sweet anticipation.

-Sweet Uncle Lou