The Astros and Their Fans Sound Like Tina Turner

Have you ever heard anyone complain about Ike more than the Astros and their fans are doing this week? Yesterday, Cecil Cooper sat down with his long-time drinking Bud(dy) Selig to voice his “frustration” that the poor, poor Astros had to play two “home” games against the Cubs up at Miller Park. This is after his team’s owner, Drayton McLane, spent two days diving in and out of his giant piles of gold coins and resisting any semblance of a rational solution to the problem before basically being forced to move the series to Miller Park.

But at least the Astros didn’t protest by wearing their road gray uniform pants. They just didn’t want to pack an extra uniform for their ABSOLUTELY EXCRUCIATING AND TOTALLY UNFAIR trip to Milwaukee, followed by Florida and then Pittsburgh. They wouldn’t have needed extra jerseys, or anything. Just a few extra pairs of white pants. But no way that was a protest, according to the Astros. And you know, I actually believe them. I’m sure their cheap asshole of an owner refused to pay the extra cash so the guys could have clean underwear on their trip. Instead, they “protested” by pouting their way around Miller Park, collecting one hit in eighteen innings.

But I digress.

Apparently, the twelve gun-totin’, cattle-rustlin’, Lee Greenwood-lovin’ Astros fans are really up in arms about getting deroadgraypantsed in “Wrigley North.” Thanks to the guys at Desipio for the link.

raygre wrote:
This game should’ve been played in the Houston area. Even if the lost occurred here, it would’ve helped some folks around town recover some sense of normalcy even if it’s just for a few hours.

Great idea. I don’t know what the people in the Houston area could possibly be doing that would be a better use of their time.




leedoc wrote:
*
That’s all you can put next to this game.

That and a “W.” Oh, and a “0 H.”

Seriously, though, what would the asterisk say? “*The Astros were really, really sleepy during the game, mostly due to the greed of their asshole owner, so they didn’t have a totally fair shot to square up the 99-mph fastballs Carlos Zambrano was throwing past them. That’s almost as bad as having to play a long night game on the road and then come back and be expected to win the NEXT night’s game! That’s almost impossible!”

Dutch9 wrote:
Yep, it’s all about them making money. They knew up front that a lot of Cub fans would come and pay the price for tickets.

Isn’t McLane’s OWN greed exactly the reason they got into a bad situation to begin with?

rgren1953 wrote:
Nobody is taking anything away from Zambrado….he pitched a magnificent game. One can wonder if he would have been quite as good of he was not playing in front of a home town crowd.

One can wonder that. Then, one can consult a map, locate “Chicago,” locate “Milwaukee,” and realize that one was an idiot for wondering that. Then, one can wonder who the hell Zambrado is. Are the Cubs now supposed to be penalized because their fans travel well? Does anyone doubt that the crowd in Minute Maid Park would have been pretty deafening if Zambrano was going for a no-hitter in Houston? Cubs fans are everywhere, and they’re quite loud.

Charlie79 wrote:
So I settle in to watch the game by generator power and forget the hurricane for a couple of hours, and what’s the first thing I hear? Classless Cubs fans booing our team and our state flag. Despicable. Cubs fan, you better hope there’s no such thing as karma. This is one Houstonian who will never forget the complete lack of class on the part of the fans of Chicago.

Ooo, the Houstonians are mad at us. Ooo, protect me, everyone! I don’t want the Houstonians coming after me. Maybe if Texans weren’t so completely ridiculous about their fake state pride, we wouldn’t even recognize the Texas flag well enough to boo it. Seriously, Texans. Your state is known for scorpions, boots, bolo ties, and No Country For Old Men. That’s it. Get over yourselves.

njt392 wrote:
I bet that MLB is grinning from ear to ear with the results of this game from the neutral site they picked.

First, MLB is not a person and has no face. Second, WHAT? What the hell interest does the MLB have in the Cubs winning a game or even pitching a no-hitter?

puckbanshee wrote:
The fact that this game even took place shows the MLB and McLane’s absolute disregard for human life and decency in the face of tragedy. The almighty dollar is always first for them. The Astros players’ minds were likely far away from the baseball field. They are people too. They have families who suffered damage and loss from the storm. Baseball is simply not that important. The game should have been canceled and rescheduled. If Selig demanded anything else, the players should have refused to go.
Zambrano, you’re a chump. This doesn’t count for squat.

Step 1: Take your ball.
Step 2. Go home.

But wait, there’s more idiocy here.

I love the Cubsfans’ talking point:
Drayton should have had a plan and moved the games earlier.
Never mind that the players had to evacuate their families.
And this is getting ugly. 4-0 Cubs.
by Only_A_Lad

Couldn’t they have, you know, evacuated their families earlier? Didn’t they see that giant green, red, orange, and yellow blob floating on the radar toward your state? And I doubt that Roy Oswalt’s family is driving his Jon Deere down the highway with all of his earthly possessions (every issue of Juggs since 1991 and a stool he made out of an old beer keg). These guys couldn’t pool their money and get a private jet or two to get their families out of harm’s way?

Anything to validate wins being handed to them.
by entropic soul

Carlos Zambrano threw a no-hitter. A NO-HITTER. And they’re saying that the win was “handed” to the Cubs? Seriously?

Is it just me or is this a completely transparent favor that Selig is doing for his two favorite franchises, the Brewers and Cubs? How can it be interpreted any other way?
by Xan

It’s you. Everyone else on earth suspects that Bud Selig despises the Cubs.

This is just a repeat of yesterday.
This team can’t play right now.
MLB has just ruined our playoff run.
by entropic soul

Are you sure it wasn’t their 44-51 record in the first half? Or maybe the fact that Wandy Rodriguez is their second-best starter?

After getting fucked from every direction by MLB and mother nature (and now the scorer).. every out makes it worse. Battles cannot be won without morale. That’s why in historic military battles in which the human element played an important part, it was important for leaders to keep their troops morale up. At this point, only luck or something outside the ballpark (something good happening at home, for example) can help them.
by entropic soul

You know what to do, gang.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

I would like to take a survey..
and see how many Astros cannot contact their immediate families right now.
by entropic soul

Who needs a survey? The answer is all of them, BECAUSE THEY’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING GAME.

I hope we make it to the postseason so we can sweep them out of it.
by entropic soul

Well, if anyone has recent experience in postseason sweeps against Chicago teams, it’s the Astros.

I can’t appreciate a team…
that needs a hurricane to help them beat another team.
by entropic soul

They didn’t need Ike to one-hit the Astros over the course of two games, but it sure would have been nice if Ike had dropped a tree on this dude’s El Camino when it passed by.

Pretty funny that
basically everyone I banned/deleted content to today was also banned at the Cubs blog(bleedcubbieblue)
Go ‘Stros!
by Stros Bro

Hey, that IS funny! Ha ha ha! Oh, ho ha ha! No, wait. That’s not funny at all.

It is really difficult to see envision those Cubs fans who aren’t jerks, though, when one reads this or this. From the outside looking in, there truly appears to be a complete lack of grace or class in that city.
by Danyah

Great point. Everyone in Chicago sucks based on ONE column each from Mike Downey and Chris De Luca, two of the biggest idiots in town.

But there’s even more! Brian McTaggart, who I’m pretty sure was the fat cop in Beverly Hills Cop 2 not only references the horrendously stupid ever-delightful Anchorman, but also manages to mention the 100-year curse and the fact that the Cubs are definitely going to blow it this year! Nice journalism, you lazy fuck.

So what do Cubs fans do when the Astros take the field at Miller Park? They boo them. Nice going, Cubs fans. Most of America knew your true colors, and you just showed it once again. Not surprising. Maybe there’s a reason you’ve been losers for 100 years. It’s called karma. I’m sure if your fine city had been ravaged by two consecutive days of 90-degree temperatures, the fans of Houston would be more kind.

You’re right, Brian. The Cubs should have given the Astros a standing ovation when they took the field. They should have held up signs that read, “We forgive you, Lance, for calling our ballpark a shithole!” They should have called for Roy Oswalt to drill Geovany Soto after Aramis went yard off him.

Personally, I would have gone along a similar route that one awesome Bears fan did when they faced the Saints in the playoffs in 2006. “THE CHICAGO CUBS: FINISHING WHAT HURRICANE IKE STARTED.”

Don’t worry, Houston. You’ll have plenty of time to rebuild your homes and take care of your families in October. Fucking crybabies.

BallHype: hype it up!

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Comments

These articles generally just make me laugh. This one actually pissed me off quite a bit. Yeah, put an asterisk next to the game, you fucking idiots. Why don’t you protest your dumbshit owner and his pal Selig? ANGER!!!

Thank you Houston for ensuring you remain my most hated team in the majors.

I still don’t understand the 90 degree heat wave thing. I mean, it’s hot as hell here in the summer.

Man, do I hate Texas. It’s by far the worst state in the union. We should give it back to Mexico.

Congrats on an article that consists of highly selective quotes, most taken out of context, in order to paint your highly biased point. Suppose a tornado ripped through Chicago and Bud forced everyone to leave their families at the drop of a hat. So after a few sleepless nights in a city without power the Cubs had to leave behind their families in those terrible and dangerous conditions and hit the road for a ridiculous travel schedule to get to a park on the other side of the country and arrive in a hostile environment (I know, hard to imagine for you guys). Don’t you think your team wouldn’t be 100%? Don’t you think they’d be just slightly off their game? Lack of sleep, worry, guilt for leaving, etc. all weighing on their minds. Can you imagine how much you guys would bitch collectively? If you deny that, you’re full of it.

I wrote the articles in questions, so here’s my reply to the dbag Cubs fans that came and flamed the message board:

When did anyone here say that the No-No shouldn’t count? I believe we said that it probably wouldn’t have happened if Zambrano didn’t get two extra days of rest, have to travel 90 min in a bus, and face a team that had just weathered a hurricane, not slept for days, and then have a ridiculous travel schedule. However, you’re free to distort the facts as you please.

Also, didn’t the Cubs just get swept out of the post season last year? So who has the most recent experience with post season sweeps?

Originally Posted By Stephen
Congrats on an article that consists of highly selective quotes.

Thank you. Oh, wait.

@Stephen - One - Zambrano actually only got one extra day of rest, as he was scheduled to start on Saturday, but he was pitching on 12 days’ rest anyway, so I don’t think that extra day made much of a difference.

Two - Taking your frustrations out on the Cubs and their fans for the difficult travel schedule is misguided and misdirected. The main culprit is your team’s owner, who refused - out of an unwillingness to refund ticket sales - until the last possible moment to accept a more preferable alternative.

Three - Your boys got steamrolled… it would have happened anywhere.

The Texas flag should always be booed, no matter what. That stupid state is largely responsible for the current screwed-up condition of our country right now. We’re all paying the price for their silly idolization of swaggering, cowboy nonsense.

Astros fans: you’ve got no one to blame but your own dumb, stubborn and greedy owner for the situation Sunday and Monday. As of Thursday night, the Cubs were willing to play anywhere that wasn’t staring into the teeth of a Category 3 hurricane. In fact, Jim Hendry order the team’s charter jet to request a flight pattern from St. Louis to Tampa, because that was the expected relocation site, until McLane decided to continue his hissy fit, instead of getting his players and their families to safety. He bet everything on the .002 percent chance that Ike wouldn’t hit Houston, and that gamble failed miserably. Don’t bitch about MLB or the Cubs screwing you… your team’s owner did.

Originally Posted By Reuschel’s Jowls
The Texas flag should always be booed, no matter what.

Yup.

Originally Posted By StephenAlso, didn’t the Cubs just get swept out of the post season last year? So who has the most recent experience with post season sweeps?

If I’m not mistaken our glorious leader said “sweeps against Chicago teams.” Little different from what you’re claiming. Yes the Cubs got swept out of the playoffs last year. No, that has nothing to do with anything that’ll transpire this year.

Nobody denies that the Astros caught a tough break, and that a hurricane is a horrible event to have to endure. The fact remains Drayton McLane made the situation worse than it had to be by not preemptively moving the series and getting the Astros players and families out of Houston before the hurricane hit like the whole fucking area was told to do. Also, the Astros and their fans are coming off as incredible whiners. Cubs fans are just getting a little tired of the idea that it is somehow our fault, as if it was the Cubs and their fans’ idea to play the games in Milwaukee. Why be bitter towards a team and their fanbase just because they showed up ready to play when and where they were supposed to? Bitching incessantly about the situation probably didn’t do a lot to get the Astros prepared for the games either.

HOW DARE THE MARLINS SHOW UP TO THEIR GAME ON TIME AND ONLY ALLOW ONE RUN TO THE ASTROS??? THOSE INSENSITIVE BASTARDS!

at Tdubbs:
see, when its hot out, people cant play baseball games. thats how it works, right? his article has the worst comparison ive ever heard, as hurricanes and 90 degree heat are kinda, sorta, really freaking different.

as for the booing of the texas state flag and the astros themselves, yeah, its not like the astros fans have ever booed someone. in fact, i remember one game where the astros fans cheered every cub at bat and every pick off throw to first made by a cub pitcher. the way i see it is that the NL central has two types of fans: the best fans in baseball who cheer for every team and every player ever, even bob howry (especially bob howry), and cubs fans who take every opportunity to yell racial slurs at every player imaginable.

and kermit, youre also forgetting that texas is known for giving america one of its worst politicians ever. that’s right, oliver north. fuck that guy. and what the hey, bush sucks too. But Texas is also known for Gary Busey, Mark David Chapman, and the Duff sisters.

but ernie banks was born there. so, you know, its not totally a shithole.

@Feesh - When did I ever blame the Cubs? When did anyone blame the Cubs? I think we might have complained at your arrogance, but never BLAMED you, that’s ridiculous.

I’d appreciate if the ad hominem attacks would die down and people would stop putting words in my mouth.

That rollover quote on the picture of Ike made me laugh.

Not as hard as the idea that somehow major league baseball players–the elite atheletes in their chosen sport–completely forget how to hit a baseball properly if they travel outside of their comfort zone even slightly.

But it did make me laugh, and that’s what’s important.

@Bad Kermit - What does that even have to do with what I said?

@Stephen - I guess we should say that if River Forest (where Zambrano lives) wasn’t under water this weekend, Carlos would have thrown a perfect game and hit 3 HRs.

@Bad Kermit - BK- Quit being so selective. From now on, take random quotes from blog posts so that you have a true representation of their meaning.

As one who lived in exile in Houston for six years, I applaud anyone who boos the Texas flag. The fake pride in the state has developed to distract everyone from the fact that the state is a shithole.

Stephen, I really don’t know what you’re getting so upset about. You really didn’t write an “article” I’m ripping. It’s a game thread. You wrote out a lineup. Also, most of the quotes are from one particular guy, entropic soul. Who cares?

Originally Posted By Stephen
@Bad Kermit - What does that even have to do with what I said?

With what YOU said? Nothing. With what many of your team’s FANS are saying? Everything.

@Stephen - When did I ever say the word “blame”? When did anyone say the word “blame”? I said you were taking your frustration out on the Cubs and their fans. Hence, why you are here… You really just undercut yourself with that one, admonishing ad hominem attacks as you yourself were delivering one.

Ike beat the shit outta me, too.

The ANGER!!! It’s so funny when people have gotten pissed off at the Cubs this year because they’ve completely kicked their asses. Oh, all is well in Wrigleyville.

How long should MLB have given the Crasstros to recover from Ike? To give them ample time to be assured of their families safety and overcome the trauma of the storm, why not postpone their Florida series too?

I didn’t think it was possible for me to dispise Texas more profoundly than I already did. But somehow they managed. Special thanks to Stephen.

I don’t know what is happening to the teams in our division. I just read on a Brewers blog that CC shouldn’t be charged with the loss last night. The final was 5-4 and CC only gave up 4 runs. I told him that they should hire La Russa. He’s a lawyer. Anytime they don’t like a call fom an umpire, official scorer or just the rules in general, they could sue MLB. And they could include the Astros and have a class action suit. Cry babies vs MLB.

As far as I’m concerned, the only halfway compelling argument I’ve heard to not have those games played elsewhere on Thu/Fri is the whole keep-the-players-with-their-families argument. But this assumes that a significant number of them are actually cruel enough to make their families live in Houston. It also seems to assume that Hunter Pence has a girlfriend.

What I learned by reading L’Astros Blogs.

1) Booing the L’Astros = hating Houston and loving hurricanes.

2) The L’Astros were destined to make the playoffs but Bud and the Cubs conspired to keep them out of it.

3) Carlos Zambrano would have sucked in the Juice Box

4) Houstonians is a stupid word that I never needed to know and I guess it’s short for “whiny bitchy sally nancies”.

It was me, MLB, the World Bank, the UN and several Black Helicopters that conspired not only to no-hit the Astros, but also to destroy Southeast Texas. I am a god. My name is Carlos Zambrano.

Fun fact, everyone!

On June 5, 2006, Zambrano threw 8 innings of one-hit ball at Minute Maid. The one hit didn’t come until the 8th inning with one out. And at that time, the Astros were the defending NL pennant winners. So I’m sure he would have sucked if the game were in Houston.

In other words, shut up about where it happened. Your team had NO hits and didn’t even look competitive. Yeah, the whole hurricane situation was bad. Maybe you could blame a loss on that. It was a NO-HITTER, you whiny fucking pussies. God, I can’t wait until the Astros and Brewers are both eliminated.

I think the two key things are
1) The owner finally acknowledged the decision made sense, but it still sucked. Blame the ‘cane, not Bud.
2) Cooper, in the link, says it makes sense if you think about it

This comes down to a major weather event making life difficult for some, and hell for others. It is the job of the leadership (Manager/GM/Owner) to show confidence and resolve. “The situation in Houston is awful, and it is tough for us to leave, and, certainly, playing a home game in Milwaukee is not great. Against the Cubs, sure is strange. But, heck, this is really a dire situation and the commissioner had made it clear why this is the best option, so we have to show-up, do our jobs, and try and win some baseball games”
But no one said that, they whined instead.

Actually, Texas is also known for the fact that handguns are cheap and readily available. You can’t take that away from them, DAMN IT!

Texas Joke:

Q: How many Texans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE, DAMN IT! YEE-HAH!!!!

P.S. It’s a 162 game season. It’s almost as if the Asstrolls think that nothing comparable has every happened to another club in the 100+ year history of the National League. Nope, NOT EVER.

Originally Posted By Harry PavlidisBlame the ‘cane, not Bud.

I believe this is actually known as the “Ike Turner Defense” in legal circles. Kermit can probably shed some more light on this…

Using this argument, can we go back to ‘04 when the Cubs were forced to reschedule games with the Marlins due to Hurricane Frances? Maybe that reshuffling caused our September fade that year and not the fact that we sucked ass. Maybe Montreal wouldn’t have finished last if they hadn’t had to play games at US Cellular due to Hurricane Ivan that year(Probably wouldn’t have helped, but who knows?).

My uncle lives in Houston and I was worried as hell for him. Luckily he left before the hurricane even hit. Maybe if Drayton McLane hadn’t fucked around, the Astros and their families could have been safer in a neutral MLB site hotel when the shit went down. By the time he figured out what the fuck was going on, there were two potential sites that had a covered roof: Chase Field in AZ and Miller park. Chase was out since the DBAcks were at home, so that left Miller. Simple as that.

Take up the complaints with Bud and MLB. Then go bitch at the tight-wad owner of the ’stros. He was more interested in the gate receipts than the safety of his own players and their families. Everyone on the planet new that ‘cane was heading right for Houston. Bud should have removed his head from his ass Thursday, told Drayton to shut the fuck up and have the entire team and their families flown out after they blew out the Bucs at the JuiceBox.

Going to Miller Park was not the ’stros problem. It was going to Miller Park under the circumstances of TAKING SO DAMNED LONG TO MAKE A DECISION, then flying in at the last minute.

So ’stros fans, you have to ask yourselves a question being in the shoes of your owner. Would you want your team to play at a neutral site where there would be very little gate receipts and have the ’stros a decent chance to win, or at a park where there would be much more gate receipts with the same decent chance to win?

From just a fan’s perspective, you’d vote for KC or Arlington, Atl… whatever. And that is fine. But the decision came to domed stadiums. I don’t necessarily agree with that. There were parts of the country that have open air stadiums that were not expecting rain.

Yes, I’m a Cubs fan, yes I did go to Miller Park and yes my ticket money (not cheap by the way) is going to your owner’s pockets. The upside is I got to see my teams first no-no since I was a kid, at Wrigley in ‘72 and the Cubs won. But I didn’t boo the ’stros.

If you’re so damned pissed off, take it up with MLB AND your teams’ owner. The Cubs have nothing to do with this and would have gladly obliged with any resolution that came about. Bottom line is YOUR TEAMS’ OWNER fucked this up for you, along with that jackass commish.

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