It’s been awhile since I stopped by, and I apologize. It’s just that Jim Essian Signing Day came, and I went on a bender. As soon as the glow of Signing Day came, the ledge jumpers had me scared off. I’m too old for this crap.

Anyway, I just wanted to note all that whining and bitching and gnashing of teeth coming from the Astros following this weekend’s relocated series.  It seems pretty simple to me.  Houston was set to be devastated last week, and Drayton McLane refused to move the series. Then the hurricane hit, and just read this advisory:

Obviously, the Cubs are made up of a bunch of law-abiding sorts. Nothing like the kind of perjurers the Astros have kept in their employ.  So, obviously a hospitable alternative needed to be found.

Wisconsin is such a welcoming place, isn’t it? I thought it was pretty nice of the Cub fans to acknowledge Cecil Cooper’s homecoming to Milwaukee by screaming “Cooooooop” at the start of the game. But, the Astros had it easy, compared to the 1991 Expos. The Expos had their field ruled unplayable because of structural damage. Where did the Expos play us in September? Toronto? Comiskey? County Stadium? The Astrodome? Nooo, they played us at Wrigley Field.

The Cubs hastily scheduled a home doubleheader, charged half-price (quarter-price per game, I suppose), and sent up the mighty Essian-managed Cubs against the Expos, who were also coping with a foreign country and an Anglophonic country at that. Even Andre Dawson could sympathize with the Expos.

We send Frank Castillo up in one game, Rick Sutcliffe in another. What happens?

We got swept. By the same team we swept in my first Wrigley appearance.

We probably even got booed by those classless Cubs fans, who rightfully should expect World Series-caliber baseball out of a Jim Essian-managed team.

The fact is, we lost because we had a sore-armed Rick Sutcliffe and a terrible Frank Castillo going for us. The Astros lost because Carlos Zambrano pitched the game of his life (so far), and Ted Lilly carved up the Astros order the next day.

I better start drinking again. I feel a clincher coming on!

***

One final thing, now that I’m done with Texas. Has anyone else been following the Tribune’s 100 days, 100 years feature?  Well, I think you need to flood the e-mail box of Kermit’s good friend PAUL SULLIVAN and set him straight after he ran this garbage:

1991 in review

What it should have read:

The Cubs threw big bucks at three free agent: Dominican-Canadian malcontent George Bell, waste of space and breath Danny Jackson, and 76-year-old reliever Dave Smith. Hopes were high when the season opened. So what happened? Don Zimmer was fired in May, great baseball mind and great American Jim Essian took over, but it was too late. The Cubs finished in fourth place in the NL East at 77-83, probably because Essian didn’t get a chance to work with the squad during spring training.  The new guys were part of the problem. Jackson sucked and went 1-5 with a 6.75 ERA in 17 games; Smith, previously unaffected by any hurricanes in Houston, fell to 0-6 with a 6.00 ERA and just 17 saves, probably because of the stress of the Bulls’ first championship season. Bell hit well (.285, 25 HRs, 86 RBIs) but had some difficulty with the glove. Tyne Sandberg and Andre Dawson, meanwhile, continued with their fine play, as did Greg Maddux (15-11, 3.35).  The Cubs foolishly fired Jim Essian, who put a 17-year hex on the Cubs.  Had the Cubs not fired dirty Communist Jim Lefebvre and fascist Larry Himes and instead gave Essian GM and field manager duties, the Cubs surely would have won the NL East in 1992, and continued a dynasty throughout the 1990s.

I am sure Sullivan will be happy to post a “Correction and Clarification” in the paper.