Muskbaggery
This week’s Muskbag is chock full of personal questions, propositions, and SAM FULD. Hurray!
Why does Lou Piniella keep using Bob Howry in close situations? Howry has been bad all year. He currently has a 5.54 ERA and a 1.42 WHIP, and he’s already given up more home runs than in any other season.
– Red W., New York, N.Y.
And now he knows your name and where you live. Sleep with one eye open, Red W. And my God protect you in your journey.
CARRIE: The problem may be that all the innings and appearances have caught up with the 35-year-old right-hander. He did not give up a run in five innings over four games against Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, and then he had the game against Houston on Sept. 2 in which he was unable to record an out. That marked the first time Howry did that since May 25, 2007. He rebounded on Friday against Cincinnati and threw a perfect inning. I know he’s frustrated by how this season has gone personally, and the Cubs will have to be careful when they use him.
Yeah, they should be careful to only use him before and after actual regulation baseball has taken place.
I was wondering about playoff tickets. Do you know when tickets will go on sale? Also, what are the ways to get them? I live in Kentucky. Will I be able to call and get them or are they going to do a lottery-type thing?
– Brad M., Elizabethtown, Ky.
Generally, in America, we exchange money for goods and services. Sometimes, people use things called credit cards to purchase items on credit and then repay the credit card companies at a later time. There are also things called checks, which is basically the equivalent of giving someone a permission slip to get some of your money out of a bank. If you’re feeling particularly ambitious and you read BCB, you can also purchase a money order, which is sort of like buying a certain denomination of cash that only a certain other person can use.
CARRIE: Cubs fans who want the opportunity to purchase tickets for the National League Division Series or National League Championship Series must register on cubs.com. The deadline for NLDS tickets for games at Wrigley Field is 12 p.m. CT on Sept. 19. Fans selected will be notified via e-mail on Monday, Sept. 22. The e-mail will provide winners with instructions on how to purchase tickets online between 12 p.m. and 6 p.m. CT on Tuesday, Sept. 23. Complete rules and details, including pricing, are available at cubs.com.
That’s cubs.com. Also known as the website to which you must navigate in order to submit questions. I know it’s a lot to ask of someone to poke around on a website for more than thirty seconds, but in in the long run, it seems like it would save a good deal of time.
What’s wrong with Derrek Lee? He’s not hitting the ball with authority, and his power has dropped off tremendously. It seems like he’s not the same hitter he used to be. Is the hand injury affecting his power and strength?
– John P., Austin, Texas
The hand injury from April of 2006, nearly two and a half years ago? Are you being serious right now? Because I broke my collarbone when I was a year old, and I really think it’s the reason I’m not in the Majors right now. It really sapped most of my strength.
CARRIE: There’s nothing physically wrong. Lee did miss a start because of spasms in his neck, and he has hit only three home runs since the All-Star break. It’s a reverse of last year, when he hit six home runs in the first half and 16 in the second. He’s just hitting the ball right at people, which, unfortunately, is why he’s among the NL leaders in grounding into double plays.
Maybe Lee should request the other team stand in the bleachers, so when he hits the balls right at them, they’re home runs.
CARRIE: Asked about it this weekend, Lee said: “It just hasn’t happened so far. I haven’t gotten hot all season. It’s just one of those years.”
What’s helped offset Lee’s funk — if you can call hitting .296 with 18 homers and 80 RBIs a “funk” — is having players like Mark DeRosa (20 homers, 83 RBIs, .324 with runners in scoring position) and Geovany Soto (21 homers, 80 RBIs) contributing as much as they are. Last year, Lee batted .317 with 22 homers and 82 RBIs.
Which makes this another opportune time to point out that if Geovany Soto doesn’t win the NL MVP, well, good sir, the NL MVP voting is a joke.
I’m going to attend my first Cubs game in more than 20 years vs. the Mets on Sept. 23. If I can talk my wife into it, I’d like to get there in time for batting practice. How long before the game is batting practice typically for a road game, and are the gates open by that time?
– Thom I., Aberdeen, Scotland
They sure spell stuff crazy in Scotland (and in Cincinnati)! Anyhow, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to ask this question on the Mets’ site? Or do they not field silly questions over there?
CARRIE: The gates open two hours before first pitch. The home team does hit first, but since you’re coming from overseas and want to make the most of the trip, I’d get there as early as you can and offer your wife a nice dinner in Manhattan in exchange for watching BP.
Get her a nice bottle of wine, too, and then after the game give her the Jolly Rogering of her life. Wait, I’m sorry. Is this a dating column or a baseball question-and-answer session?
What happened to Sam Fuld? Before the season started, he was a candidate to start in center, but I haven’t heard about him all season.
– Gianni Z., Elba, N.Y.
Sam Fuld? Never heard of him. SAM FULD, on the other hand, is busy impregnating women, spreading world peace, and beating The Most Interesting Man in the World at poker.
CARRIE: Fuld began the season at Triple-A Iowa, but hit .222 in 20 games and was sent to Double-A Tennessee in mid-May. From May 16 to the end of the season, he hit .271 in 85 games with five homers, 16 doubles, three triples and 48 RBIs. He was called back to the Triple-A team for the Pacific Coast League playoffs, which ended Sunday with Oklahoma beating the Iowa Cubs, 16-5. You can check out Minor League stats at MiLB.com.
But why bother navigating to a different site and getting an instant answer when one can write an e-mail to Carrie, wait a couple weeks, and have her answer the question before God, country, and the entire world!
Let Piniella know if he needs a driver, I’m available for the remainder of the Cubs season.
– Jack L., Crown Point, Ind.
I’ll let him know. Hey, Lou? Some jobless loser wants to drive you around for the rest of the season. Probably in his Malibu.
CARRIE: You must be referring to Piniella’s messed up trip from Chicago to Cincinnati on Friday. The problem was the directions they got off the Internet, not Matt Sinatro’s skills as a navigator. However, I do think Sinatro’s days as a chauffeur are over.
Yeah. Blame the Internet. I’m sure the Internet was off by a hundred miles, landing them in Columbus instead of Cincinnati. Incidentally, can you imagine Sinatro and Lou on a road trip? I like to picture them in a convertible wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts, laughing, singing Neil Diamond, and eating licorice whips. “Do you want to pull over for Slurpees?” Sinatro would ask. “Do I!” Lou would respond. Those were the best days of their lives. Back in the summer, the summer of ‘69!
CARRIE: Before anyone asks, the Cubs are 76-5 when leading entering the ninth inning.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Carrie is now doing peremptory strikes on stupid questions? This is an entirely new precedent she’s setting. We’re witnessing history.
CARRIE: They have five walk-off wins, but have lost seven times on a walk-off by the opposition. Here’s a list of losses, including Sunday’s loss to Cincinnati:
April 25 at Washington: Wil Nieves hits a two-run homer in the ninth off Howry to give Nationals a 5-3 win.
May 2 at St. Louis: Skip Schumacher hits a two-run homer in the 11th off Chad Fox for the Cardinals’ 5-3 win.
May 24 at Pittsburgh: Jason Bay hits an RBI single in the 14th off Michael Wuertz as the Pirates win, 5-4.
May 25 at Pittsburgh: Bay hits a two-out RBI single in the 11th off Jon Lieber in a 6-5 Pirates win.
July 5 at St. Louis: Rick Ankiel hits a two-run single in the ninth off Kerry Wood for a 5-4 Cardinals win.
July 18 at Houston: Hunter Pence hits an RBI double in the ninth off Howry for a 2-1 Astros win.
Sept. 7 at Cincinnati: Jolbert Cabrera hits an RBI single in the ninth off Wood in the Reds’ 4-3 win.
Thanks. That wasn’t depressing in the least.
CARRIE: Here are the Cubs’ five walk-off wins in 2008:
May 28 vs. Los Angeles: Alfonso Soriano hits a one-out RBI double in the 10th for a 2-1 win.
June 12 vs. Atlanta: Reed Johnson is hit by a pitch with the bases loaded to force in a run in the 11th inning for a 3-2 win.
June 20 vs. White Sox: Aramis Ramirez hits a walk-off homer in ninth for a 4-3 Interleague win.
July 12 vs. San Francisco: Johnson hits an RBI single with one out in the 11th for an 8-7 win.
Aug. 8 vs. St. Louis: Henry Blanco hits an RBI single in the 11th for a 3-2 win.
Ooo! I love lists. Here are five reasons you should floss regularly:
- To prevent gingivitis.
- To prevent tartar buildup, which is a cause of cavities and bad breath.
- To eliminate plaque.
- To clean those out-of reach areas like your back teeth and below your gum line.
- Regular flossing might prevent heart disease.
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Comments
steve “Maybe Lee should request the other team stand in the bleachers, so when he hits the balls right at them, they’re home runs.”
That’s just f’ing great. Nicely done.
Cade What is this money order of which you speak? I’d like to perhaps procure one in order to purchase a t-shirt from the World Wide WebNets.
CT
bocaj
BigFlax
StPatrick
TDubbs
Funny sh*t man! Well done again.