Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Completely Useless By September” Edition
It’s time for HJE to combat this losing streak and our alleged “slide” with an anti-jinx. We’re calling down the thunder and tempting the fates. Bring it, stupid fates. Forget the doomsayers. Focus on the Roundup:
- I hope everyone had a nice good freakout over Zambrano, especially now that it looks like it was probably a total waste of your time.
- I THOUGHT STUFF LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENED TO THE CUBS!
- Suck it, fatty.
- Speaking of which, remember in 2003 when Shawn Estes had that shockingly good start which was a huge lift for the Cubs? It’s not quite the same, but last night was pretty awesome.
- What in the hell is this?
- Or this?
- The 1908 Cubs had a pretty awesome September.
- The world is finally realizing what Cubs fans have known for a while.
- Thank goodness the Orioles are retarded.
- Both Pat Hughes and Ron Santo are up for the Ford C. Frick Award. If Santo loses by a couple of votes, I’m going to yell, “Oh, GEEEEEEEEEZ!”
- Koyie Hill has a mutant hand that awakes at night and goes on murderous rampages.
- Not everyone is impressed with Josh Hamilton.
- If you were ever wondering what Ted Lilly’s screen name is, it’s “scarabic.”
- Holy Taco publishes God’s memos.
That’s it for me. There’s no better cure for a losing streak than a Dusty Baker team. Let’s go get two or three, but don’t freak out if we don’t, you big dummies.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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BigFlax
PenFoe
StPatrick
CT
CactusMcHarris
And for that Ford C. Frick nomination, WGN is going to make a big, big donation to the neediest kids fund.
It would be typical of Santo’s shamelessness to accept the Ford Frick Award. A disingenious, backdoor move like that should embarrass anyone with any shred of dignity; nevermind the fact that he’s the broadcasting equivalent to Mario Mendoza.
Thank you Walgreens!
a friend of mine was like “if i have twins i’m naming them pat and ron!” and i was like “we cant be friends anymore.”
where does holy taco get their ideas. that was one of the weirdest things I ever read.