The Muskbag Features a Question About ERA! No, It’s Not What You Think.
Well, I’m back from my New York/Boston trip, and I’m planning on posting about them when I get around to it. I got back just in time to sink my teeth into this week’s Muskbag. It tastes like what I imagine Daryle Ward’s locker smells like.
What is wrong with ‘Z?’ He rarely throws a pitch over 90 mph, and seems to throw a ton of slow breaking pitches now. Is he injured and not talking? Something doesn’t seem right, and hasn’t seemed right in his past four, five starts.
– Dennis G., Dayton, Ohio
I don’t know why you’re asking, but star fastpitch softball player Darren Zack is completely fine. It’s really hard to throw a pitch underhand at over 90 mph.
CARRIE: Zambrano has a tired arm, or “dead arm,” which sounds worse than it really is. If you watch the radar guns when he pitches, the velocity is down. There’s nothing physically wrong and no pain, and Zambrano was given two extra days between starts in order to strengthen his arm. He also has lightened his workload between starts. All of the starters will be given a breather as they head into the final month.
Yeah, it sounds worse than it is. At least until there is no more room in hell, and Zambrano’s dead arm rises to walk the earth and eat everyone’s brains. Don’t worry, Carrie. You should be fine.
What is the Cubs’ all-time record for home victories in a season? With the 51-21 record, it seems to me the team could be approaching the mark.
– Andrew E., Rothschild, Wis.
Why don’t you just ask your Drunkle Larry?
CARRIE: The Cubs’ most home wins is 58, accomplished in 1898 and 1910. The team’s top winning percentage at Wrigley Field is .727 (56-21), set in 1935.
Aren’t you forgetting something, Carrie?
Hartig, Edward. Personal interview. 1 Sept. 2008.
I was reading the postgame report for Friday’s game, and noticed that Carlos Marmol got his 100th strikeout, making him the 10th Cubs reliever to get to that mark. Who were the other nine?
– Geoff K., Austin, Texas
That’s actually a really good question, since you would have thought that the person who wrote the postgame report would have mentioned that in the article.
CARRIE: Actually, it’s the 10th time it’s happened.
Yeah, Geoff. You idiot. I don’t know who would have ever given you the idea that it was actually 10 relievers rather than 10 times.
CARRIE: Bruce Sutter leads the group with 129 strikeouts in 1977; Paul Assenmacher fanned 117 in 1991; Bill Henry struck out 115 in 1959; Lee Smith had 112 K’s in 1985; Sutter had 110 in 1979; Kyle Farnsworth had 107 in 2001; Sutter struck out 106 in 1978; Ted Abernathy had 104 strikeouts in 1965; and Bill Caudill fanned 101 in 1980. Of that group, Abernathy appeared in the most games (84).
Looks like Carrie could have used about a week-long extension on her “Cub Pitchers Who Have Reached 100 Strikeouts” research paper.
How does Ryan Dempster’s year compare to John Smoltz’s year when Smoltz returned to starting after closing for Atlanta? Did Smoltz win the Cy Young Award that year?
– Tom D., Naperville, Ill.
Unlike Geoff, you’re just an idiot. Please move out of Naperville and never come back.
CARRIE: In 2005, when Smoltz returned to the Braves’ rotation, he was 14-7 with a 3.06 ERA. Dempster, so far, is 15-5 with a 2.95 ERA.
And? And? Nothing? You done? Well, since you couldn’t make it to Part 2 of Tom’s stupid question, no, Smoltz did not win the Cy Young Award that year, as Cardinal mouthbreather Chris Carpenter did. Smoltz did make it to the All-Star Game in Comerica Park, but he was charged with the loss after pitching the second inning and gave up a leadoff home run to B12 Tejada. Or are we not supposed to be–you know–answering these questions?
I’m a big fan of the Pat and Ron show on WGN Radio, as I’m stuck at work a lot. But where does Pat go in the fifth inning? Does he take a breather?
– Matt P., Plainfield, Ill.
Yes. Oh, did you say “breather”? I thought you said, “steamer.” Then, no.
CARRIE: Yes, he does. Pat Hughes leaves the broadcast booth and he tries to find a semi-quiet place in the press box so he can continue to watch the game.
If you were nice, Carrie, you’d let him sit in the nice, quiet, open space between your ears.
I was wondering if the postseason schedule has been announced. If so, where can I find it and, if not, do you know when it will be available?
– Jamie K., Milstadt, Ill.
Well, if the Yankees and Red Sox make it, expect all of their games to be prime time games with a three-hour pre-game show leading up to them, followed by a four-hour post-game analysis. If the Yankees and Red Sox don’t make it, the playoffs are not going to be televised.
CARRIE: Here is a tentative — and I emphasize “tentative” — postseason schedule. Keep checking under “Schedule” on the top navigation bar of the MLB.com and Cubs.com sites.
Oct. 1: Game 1 of both NL series; Game 1 of AL series between two division champions
Oct. 2: Game 2 of both NL series; Game 1 of AL series
Oct. 3: Game 2 of both AL series
Oct. 4: Game 3 of both NL series
Oct. 5: Game 4 of both NL series; Game 3 of both AL series
Oct. 6: Game 4 of both AL series
Oct. 7: Game 5 of both NL series
Oct. 8: Game 5 of both AL series
Oct. 9: NLCS Game 1
Oct. 10: NLCS Game 2; ALCS Game 1
Oct. 11: ALCS Game 2
Oct. 12: NLCS Game 3
Oct. 13: NLCS Game 4; ALCS Game 3
Oct. 14: ALCS Game 4
Oct. 15: NLCS Game 5
Oct. 16: ALCS Game 5
Oct. 17: NLCS Game 6
Oct. 18: NLCS Game 7; ALCS Game 6
Oct. 19: ALCS Game 7
Oct. 22: World Series Game 1
Oct. 23: World Series Game 2
Oct. 25: World Series Game 3
Oct. 26: World Series Game 4
Oct. 27: World Series Game 5
Oct. 29: World Series Game 6
Oct. 30: World Series Game 7
This was actually sort of a clever bet-hedging answer from Carrie. In fact, I think she should start all her questions in a similar manner: “Here is a stupid–and I emphasize ’stupid’–answer.”
What do the Cubs and MLB teams do with jerseys after the game? I never see any player with dirt stains on their pants or anything and, if the jerseys are discarded, does each player have 162 jerseys allotted to them a year? If not, I want to know what detergent they use to clean them.
– Joshua A., New Albany, Miss.
I bet you do. It must be tough to get those blood stains out for all the beatings you take, sissy.
CARRIE: No, they don’t have 162 jerseys. Instead, they use a combination of Tide, liquid ERA (good for grass stains) and an industrial-strength product to clean the uniforms.
I hear that combination tastes delicious, Carrie!
CARRIE: The players actually have four white home jerseys, two road gray jerseys and two blue jerseys. And the clubhouse staff appreciates that someone noticed their hard work.
Technically, Daryle Ward has eight home white, four road grays, and four blues. It doesn’t count if it’s two jerseys sewn together, though, right?
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Comments
morpheus How does Ryan Dempster’s year compare to John Smoltz’s year when Smoltz returned to starting after closing for Atlanta? Did Smoltz win the Cy Young Award that year?
– Tom D., Naperville, Ill.
Wait a minute… is it possible that one of the Sons of Jim Essian got one past the goalie?
trueblue Originally Posted By TDubbsThe one from Wisconsin has to be a fakie too
Actually, there is a Rothschild, Wisconsin (google maps).
Charles Damnit…… I knew some retard from my Dayton Ohio would eventually find his was on here… biggest dumb little city in the world, lol
Rusty Baker Who gives a flying f**k how they wash their jerseys? Whats he trying to go into the dry cleaning business and looking for advice? WTF
CT
bocaj
BigFlax
StPatrick
TDubbs
Dammit. I was hoping we’d find out more fun facts about ivy.