How I Spent My Summer Baseball Season
I was talking with Pre the other day, and Pre made the astute observation (thank you, Pre) that Alfonso Soriano’s recent “Player Perspectives” essay was clearly a punishment handed to him by Lou Piniella for not running out a recent deep fly ball. It’s clear that Soriano had help on the essay. Fortunately, HJE was able to get its hands on Soriano’s first draft.
by: Alfonso Soriano
This summer, I lived in Chicago and played left field and batted leadoff for a baseball team called the Chicago Cubs. I wore a red, right, and blue uniform like the American flag. The team hasn’t won the World Series, which is sort of like the first-place championship, in one hundred years. That’s a long time!
But the team did really good! We were the first team to get eighty wins, to put us at eighty wins and only fifty losses. To give you some idea, two years ago after one hundred thirty games, we had only fifty-four wins and seventy-six losses. The team has improved so much, that even John Cusack, who was a White Sox fan in 2005, and a Cubs fan in 2003, is apparently a Cubs fan again!
I even got to go on vacation in the middle of the summer! A couple of my friends and I got to go to New York and then the Dominican Republic. We got to ride on a plane! It was so much fun, even though there was a guy named Dan Uggla who had midget arms and sort of ruined it for everyone.
We had really good pitching all summer, and we had some really good hitting, too. That made our coach, Lou, really happy most of the time. He usually only got angry when this one guy, Bobby, would come in to play baseball. It made everyone else really mad, too, especially our starting pitchers.
Everyone on the team hopes that we make the playoffs, which is like a tournament for the best baseball teams. If we do, we will get to play baseball in October. I hope it’s not too cold.
Oh, and me and some of the guys went and saw Dark Knight. It was really awesome.
The end.
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Comments
Jon He also forgot to mention the disturbance at Dark Knight when some arab kid wasn’t allowed in the theatre even though there were 30 SEATS LEFT.
CT
bocaj
BigFlax
StPatrick
TDubbs
He forgot the bad parts about how “my wrist really hurted in June.”