Hire Jim Essian

So, Carlos Zambrano went out and beat the Reds even after chewing his gum so hard that he cracked a molar? I’m not sure if that’s badass or completely ridiculous. Either way, the magic number is at 30 with 35 games left to play. So, even if the Brewers win out, all we have to do is go 30-5 to win the Central. Simple! Anyhow, here’s the Roundup:

• As if Zambrano and Geovany Soto aren’t awesome enough on the field, they’re even more awesome off it.
• Is anyone else dying to see what ESPN is going to do if both the Yankees and the Red Sox miss the postseason?
• Ned Yost is getting more and more like Dusty Baker every day, and with every his one lineup.
• What’s Andre Dawson up to these days? Oh, still just being awesome.
• Harden is sure doing what he can to out-awesome the Red Baron.
• After years of waiting, there’s finally an anti-ChucktoChuck.
• Was Ward’s home run last week the biggest play of the 2008 season?
• I know Kermit often bemoans the fact that a lot of Cubs fans are chodes, but you have to admit that some of them are pretty awesome.

Well, that’s all that was interesting enough to point out this week. Time to welcome in the Washington Nationals. First in war. First in peace. Last in the National League.

-Sweet Uncle Lou