Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Time to Mercy-Kill the DeadBirds” Edition
I hate the Cardinals. I loathe the Cardinals. I abhor the Cardinals. I would rather wash Sarah Jessica Parker’s feet than manage the Cardinals. I would rather lick a Wrigley trough. But instead, we’ll just knock them out of the race this weekend, and I’ll just do the Roundup today.
- How valuable was Scott Eyre? Well, let’s just say about as valuable as a GUY WITH NO FACE!
- We should try to keep Chuck to Chuck away from the sharp knives. Awfulonso Selfishiano is dominating the league.
- Carlos Zambrano hates the Venezuelan troops (maybe).
- Remember how the Cubs were going to build that hideously ugly parking garage? Well, if they ever do it, it’s still going to be ugly, only now there’s going to be even less parking available. Help us, Mark Cuban. You’re our only hope.
- You know how much we love lists around here. Well, Ghost of Paul Noce checks out the top five Cubs-Cardinals series since 1987.
- Five Outs to Go takes a look at the grand tradition of fantastic players in Milwaukee.
- I knew this organization gave up on Luis Montanez a couple of at-bats too soon!
- Does this sound like it refers to someone you know? No? Well, then, it probably refers to you.
- I haven’t seen a wiener this big since I showered this morning. Nah, just kidding. I didn’t shower this morning.
- I would be willing to bet my next paycheck that it wasn’t Old Style.
Well, that’s it for me, stupids. It’s time to put an end to this “the Cardinals are still in it” nonsense.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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CT
StPatrick
PenFoe
BigFlax
Bocaj
OH MY GOD!
They had to eat at BURGER KING?
Oh, the huge manatee!
Grow a sac assholes.
If you didn’t want to play because Hugo Chavez is a douche royale, that’s one thing. But because you were forced to eat a Whopper with a side of onion rings and a Diet Coke…
Get the fuck over yourselves.
I feel better now.
Free BK? Stevie Iyre’s going to be filing for joint US-Venezuela citizenship.
I guess that means the Cubs traded for one of these guys.
http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j74/KurtEvans/marlinsfaceless.jpg
See, it makes total sense now, right?
Right?
is LaGenius signaling his BAC?
OMG tihs iz totaly GAY1 ur a fg wtf
Jake here, neighborhood guy, for Old Style. A buddy of mine dates an old crazy bitch who just got out of a mental institution. Getting stabbed to death by a woman nuttier than squirrel turds…. Now THAT’S Old Style.
Maybe we should set Jake up with the “OCB”.