Imagine my surprise when I came into work this morning to find an envelope with my (misspelled) name hastily scrawled across a nondescript yellow padded envelope with the return address reading only “IGH.” My first thought was, “Could it be? Has the IGH Guy finally tracked me down? Is it finally, indeed, gonna happen?” My next thought was, “No. No way would IGH Guy dare to invade my work space.” My third thought was, “Who can I get to open this envelope for me?”
I decided to submerge the envelope completely in water before opening it. I’m NOBODY’S fool! I gingerly lifted the flap, careful not to get any paper cuts and praying to God that it wasn’t IGH Guy’s tongue with its venomous saliva that sealed the envelope. I flipped the envelope upside down, and what spilled out? Snakes? Was it snakes?
No. Worse.
It’s Gonna Happen bracelets. Three of them. There’s even a white “W” flag on them.
The gauntlet has been thrown. The question is, “How do I respond?”
Do I figure out his work address and send him back, “No, It’s Not” bracelets? Do I put one bracelet at the bottom of each one of the urinals in my building? Do I use them to elaborately frame him for charging the field (again) at tonight’s game?
What to do? What to do?
