Imagine my surprise when I came into work this morning to find an envelope with my (misspelled) name hastily scrawled across a nondescript yellow padded envelope with the return address reading only “IGH.” My first thought was, “Could it be? Has the IGH Guy finally tracked me down? Is it finally, indeed, gonna happen?” My next thought was, “No. No way would IGH Guy dare to invade my work space.” My third thought was, “Who can I get to open this envelope for me?”
I decided to submerge the envelope completely in water before opening it. I’m NOBODY’S fool! I gingerly lifted the flap, careful not to get any paper cuts and praying to God that it wasn’t IGH Guy’s tongue with its venomous saliva that sealed the envelope. I flipped the envelope upside down, and what spilled out? Snakes? Was it snakes?
No. Worse.
It’s Gonna Happen bracelets. Three of them. There’s even a white “W” flag on them.
The gauntlet has been thrown. The question is, “How do I respond?”
Do I figure out his work address and send him back, “No, It’s Not” bracelets? Do I put one bracelet at the bottom of each one of the urinals in my building? Do I use them to elaborately frame him for charging the field (again) at tonight’s game?
What to do? What to do?
Or you can just take a little kid and have the kid sell them like he did to his OWN son last month to sell those stupid shirts and bracelets.
It was great to see those signs at one of the souvenir shops after the game yesterday… gathering dust.
I successfully talked a family from Minnesota from buying those wristbands before the game, too. Reminded them of the douchebag who’s behind that campaign. Seems not too many folks are eager to line the pockets of a deceptive scumbag that once embarrassed the fan base on a national scale.
Or you could just keep wearing them.
> What to do? What to do?
A restraining order, for starters.
You could be the bigger man and let it go… I’m just fucking with you. Stick it to this prick! The podcast was pretty funny too. Who’s Andy Dolan?
My suggestions? Find him and jerk off in his drink, sleep with his wife or whichever sibling he has sex with the most, or just start some national smear campaign, where you sell your own signs/t-shirts with all proceeds going to charity.
Whatever your retaliation (I’m sure people here can come up with some great ones), you need it to be accompanied by a sign, bracelet or t-shirt saying, “It Just Did”
I’m going to trademark “It Is Going to Happen.”
There are so many ways to describe him. Poet. Legend. Moran. Instead, I’ll just point you toward his site, though.
I think he might have a crush on you, BK. Better load the shotgun and watch the bushes in front of your house.
Andy Dolan is my hero. Not.
He is cool though.
Hasn’t this gone away yet? You just know if by some miracle we DO actually win a World Series, this douchebag is gonna act like he had something to do with it.
I doubt it’s this guy. I think it’s someone (probably from this site) just fucking with you.
You should use them to fashion the first DongBand (TM) prototype.
When it fails, sell it on ebay.
@Bad Kermit – I am in your debt, good sir.
There’s just no good way to fit “your gay t-shirt in no way effects the outcome of this game” on a wristband.
You should show him what happens when he fucks a stranger in the ass
I’ve been using my “It’s Gonna Happen” bracelet as a cock ring. It never occured to me that I could put it around my wrist.
Ian,
That’s already been TM’d – they’re a Vietnamese quartet.
IAN,
If THIS is the DongBand… I don’t think it’s being used as intended.
http://www.cybermartkorea.or.kr/event/front/mcdfev/ST01/sub_ProView.jsp?Prdt_id=PR0002648&Corp_nm_eng=DONGBAND&Prdt_nm_eng=pump_view&menu_id=ME0000000&exhibit_id=EX0000052
Let’s review…
No seizure between screws
No carbonization on discharge port
Regular ultimate pressure irrespective of circumstances
Productivity enhancement
These things are gonna sell themselves.