Hire Jim Essian

Just curious. Do people in Wisconsin know how standings work? Are they aware that we’ve been in first since May 11th, and they haven’t been in first since April 8th? Are they aware that we were without our starting left fielder, who has performed equally as well as Ryan Braun, for about two months? Do they know that if they’re going to start talking shit, they should maybe actually PASS us first? Ah, well. Fuck those cheeseheads. Anyhow, here’s the Roundup:

• Thanks to Flem for pointing out this fantastic Onion article which explains why the Brewers aren’t going to make the playoffs.
• It looks like the Jeff Samardzija era has begun. Dolan looks at The Shark’s promotion and gives me some (good) advice on how to set my rotation for next week’s Brewers series.
• The Shooter’s Lounge has declared the Peoria Chief idiot Julio Castillo their DoucheNugget of the Week, and for good reason. Here’s the video of the incident.
• Kermit’s been rooting for Mark Cuban to buy the team since his name was first mentioned, and everyone has been emphatically telling him that there’s “no chance” he’ll get the Cubs. Well, he has a better chance than supposed former front-runner John Canning. Even the ordinarily joyless Chuck is happy about it. Don’t worry. You can knock him back down by reminding him that the Cubs are 2-0 with 16 runs scored in the two games since Soriano’s return.
• Look, even drug addicts love Ernie Banks.
• $25,000 can buy an awful lot of Ernie Banks rookie cards.
• Is Phil Rogers really so stupid that he thinks we were ever favored by Selig? Selig likes us about as much as he likes making rational decisions which are good for the game of baseball.
• Rogers is stupid, all right. But this week’s stupidest article had to have been penned by Rick Morrissey.
• Even though he strung together three letters for the first time in his life, Dusty still doesn’t get it.
• Can the Twins organization please continue to piss off Francisco Liriano until he demands a trade? Please?
• After watching their team get manhandled by the Brewers, some Cardinals fans are sticking a fork in 2008.
• I don’t know why Cardinals fans are in full DOOM mode. Word on the street is that the Cardinals are on the brink of signing a new pitcher.

Well, that’s it for me. Gotta get ready for the Friday fish fry. Enjoy the weekend series.

-Sweet Uncle Lou