Yes, I know the All-Star Game was two days ago. At least it started two days ago. But the more I think about the game, the more annoyed I am. Not because the National League lost. Not because it took longer than a Steve Trachsel start. Not because Dan Uggla played second base like he was encased in carbonite. No, I’m annoyed because Bud Selig has turned the All-Star Game, the once-enjoyable Midsummer Classic, into a circus. I’m not even going to get into the idiotic pomp and circumstance that comes before the game. I’m not going to bother reminding you how godawful it is having to listen to Buck and McCarver for any length of time. I’m just going focus on the stupid home field advantage gimmick Bud has made out of the game.

In 2002, when Joe Torre and Bob Brenly managed to empty their bullpens and benches, failing to anticipate an extra-inning affair, the trouble began. Bud, flapped his hands in the air, shook his wattle around, and declared the game a tie after eleven innings. Now, rather than realizing that in order to avoid another such debacle, the most logical thing to do was to make the All-Star Game less serious, Bud decided the solution was to make the game more important, linking home field advantage in the World Series to the game.

If Bud would have done what I thought made sense at the time, he would have said, “You know what? This is an exhibition game. If you managers want to reinsert your star players, go for it. If you want to bring out a batting practice pitcher to throw the next inning, have at it. After all, this thing is supposed to be for fun. There is no reason for you managers to be biting your nails about whether you are going to do damage to another team’s star pitcher. So, let’s loosen up the rules and give you guys freedom to do what you want.”

But Bud, predictably, went in the exact opposite and, ultimately, terrible direction. He, of course, went with, “This Time, It Counts.” Bud failed to realize that with the current format, there are significant problems with having the All-Star Game determine which league has home field advantage in the World Series.

1. Only Two Teams Go to the Series: Even the Cubs, who had six team members play in the All-Star Game, can do little to affect the outcome of the game. It’s a team effort, and is there really any reason to think Cristian Guzman, playing for the 36-60 Washington Nationals, gives a damn about home field advantage in the World Series? Only one NL team is going to play in the World Series. Why should the lion’s share of its fate be in the hands of players from the other fifteen NL teams?
2. Take the ALL-STARS: If this game is going to count, the NL and the AL should have the best thirty-two players from their respective leagues. The thirty-two BEST players in the league. Meaning some teams may not be represented. And you know what? Who cares? Truly great players on bad teams will still make the team (congratulations, by the way, Joakim Soria). And are the fans of the teams completely out of the race by the All-Star Break really going to watch the game, anyhow?
3. Screw the Fans: If the game is going to count, fans should not be allowed to vote. Jason Varitek? Seriously? He’s putting up a .218/.299/.354 line this year. You suck, Red Sox Nation. As FYI pointed out, Varitek was picked by the players. So maybe THOSE idiots shouldn’t be allowed to vote, either. To be honest, there were better choices than Fukudome, too. Pat Burrell comes to mind. And I hate to keep picking on him, but was Cristian Guzman a better choice than Jose Reyes? Seriously? Because if Clint Hurdle is going to insist on pulling Aramis Ramirez for a pinch runner after one measly at-bat, I’d have much preferred Reyes’ 32 first-half stolen bases out there.
4. Expand the Rosters: If they’re going to insist on not only bringing a player from every team, but also on trying to get them playing time, just bring a shitload of guys. Why the arbitrary 32-man roster? Bring 35. Bring 40. Hell, bring 50. You’ll sell more stupid All-Star jerseys, and you can bring 27 pitchers, and have them each record just one measly out each.

If none of those options are appealing, then just DON’T MAKE THE DAMN GAME COUNT. Here are some alternative options for Bud in deciding home field advantage.

1. Best Record: Just use the best record, for God’s sake. If the NL had won the All-Star Game in 2006, would the Cardinals have deserved home field advantage? If the AL idiots complain that the NL teams can pad their records by playing the allegedly inferior Senior Circuit (which, by the way, played the “far-superior” AL to a 3-3 tie for 14.5 innings the other night), I will make this point: if the AL is so superior, they should have no problem beating the NL in the World Series, home field advantage or not. Speaking of the AL versus the NL, can we please get rid of interleague play? It was sort of cute and gimmicky at first, but now it just sucks. The All-Star Game and the World Series were much more special before we had regular-season matchups between the AL and the NL, and does anyone really have any interest in watching a Rockies-Orioles matchup?

   Incidentally, as SMG succinctly pointed out at Desipio, Bud has said that the reason you can’t use best record is because you won’t know until eight days before the World Series who will be in it. Which is sort of exactly like how it is now, what with us needing to wait to see which team wins the NL and which wins the AL. As of right now, at the time of the championship series, there are only four possible matchups for the World Series. Going by best record, guess how many possible matchups there will be? Four.

2. Alternate Home and Away: This is the way it was until 2003, and no one bitched about it. Why not go back to it?

You suck, Bud. If you don’t do anything else in your miserable tenure, fix this.