CARLOS MARMOL enters the office of manager LOU PINIELLA. Lou sits behind his desk writing out a lineup card.

You wanted to see me, Coach?


Come on in, Carlos. I have great news for you!


Oh, God, what?


Kerry is out of the All-Star Game with blisters. You know what that means?


Please, Coach, I’m so very tired.


That’s right! You’re going to the All-Star Game!


Coach, I was really hoping to get some rest over the All-Star Break. In fact, I was sort of surprised that you didn’t shut me down for a week or so before the break.


Are you kidding me? You’re lucky you get an offseason. In fact, from this point forward, you don’t get an offseason.


But, Coach.


What are you doing right now, Carlos?


I was going to go see the trainer.


The hell with that, Carlos! I want you to throw a simulated game. Right now.


Coach, I just threw thirty-four pitches in one inning today.


And you’ll throw a hundred fifty more in twelve simulated innings!


Twelve simulated innings?


I want you to get used to game situations, and it’s entirely possible that we might get into a twelve-inning game.


Coach, I’m ready for game situations.


You’re damn right you are. And you’ll be ready for All-Star Game situations.


What, Coach?


I talked to Hurdle, and convinced him to let you throw all nine innings on Tuesday.


Why would you do that?


Because I hate you, Carlos. Now, I want you to use your right arm to help me move my desk.


Coach, your desk is solid oak!


Solid oak and filled with books


Where are we moving it?


Up a flight of stairs and then back down again. Four times.


Coach, that doesn’t really make sense.


Sure it does. But we’re not going to get anything done until you help me unjam my industrial paper shredder.


What’s jammed in there?


A red-hot curling iron.


How in the world did you get a curling iron stuck in there?


Never mind that. Here, hold my chainsaw.


Can I turn it off first?


No, you may not.


Coach, why are you punching me in the arm?


Just helping you loosen up.


You’re hurting me.


Ha ha ha! You’re okay, Carlos. Now, get out of here. Take the back stairs. I just had them greased.