You’re an Episode of The Hills, Tony

Posted by Bad Kermit

July 7, 2008

Can't you guys get along? You have so much in common. Ah, Tony LaRussa. It’s always entertaining playing the Cardinals, because Tony the fucking drama queen is always ready, willing, and able to make a mountain out of a molehill. The latest victim of Tony’s attention-grabbing bullshit is the suddenly-much-more-lovable Jim Edmonds. Over the weekend, Edmonds sparred with his former manager through the media.

Apparently, Edmonds was as sick of the media writing the same stupid story over and over as the rest of us are. Edmonds simply suggested to the media that he would appreciate if they’d stop asking him what it’s like to come back and play against his old team. Edmonds is a Cub right now, and wanted to be linked to that team rather than his old club.

Tony, like a petulant little child, immediately ramped up Edmonds’ comments and implied that Edmonds wanted to sever all ties with his former team. Tony suggested that the Best Fans in Baseball^TM “honor his request [and] ignore the fact that he was ever here.”

Oh, Tony. You childish ass. That’s not what he said at all. Edmonds has been trying hard to be accepted as a Cub since he arrived in Chicago. Who can blame the guy for trying to distance himself from his playing days on their biggest rival team?

But Tony the pussy cat continued. “I think we ought to follow his lead,” LaRussa said. “His quote was roughly, within a couple of words, ‘I’ve had enough of people asking me about the Cardinals. I’m a Cub now.’

“So I would treat him like he never played here. I would wait until the end of his career and I would remember he was a Cardinal. I would ignore the fact that he was ever here [for now] because that’s what he wants. I would honor his request. Forget the Cardinal days until his career is over.”

It’s a good thing Tony chose baseball over the law. His listening comprehension is apparently as refined as his haircut.

How did Edmonds respond? Perfectly. He called LaRussa’s comments “asinine” and “ridiculous,” and said he would “punch him in the mouth” if he ignored him at the game (though he was, unfortunately, joking about that last comment).

Jim Edmonds was beloved as a Cardinal, and Tony LaRussa even managed to piss him off. If there’s anything that Phil Rogers should call “so Cub,” it’s hating The Genius.

Welcome to the Cubs, Jim.

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