Maybe it’s because of his big brother. Maybe it’s because of his love affair with the former-letter site. Maybe it’s because he sort of sucks. But the more I watch Eric Patterson, the more he reminds me of his loathsome older brother, Corey Patterson. So, let’s put them in the Fukudome, and see who survives. Look at those smug faces.

VS.

Which Patterson will have a shittier Cubs career?

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