No, not the 9-game winning streak, you idiots. Cardinals Diaspora is the only Cardinals blog that’s–well–good. Hell, it might be the only Cardinals blog in existence, for all we know. Anyhow, Kerm and I keep an eye on it to keep track of the temperature of the Cardinals fans. And every once in a while, we get a good scoop off their site. Of course, when we do, we bring it to you. Apparently, if you have tickets to the Fourth of July Cubs-Cardinals showdown, you’d better bring a camcorder and some Vaseline, because it’s going to be PG-13 or worse out there, as there’s going to be nudity. Female nudity. Look, this may be a publicity stunt (as she’s now asking for “bail money”), and it’s possible it might not even happen. But you know you want it to. Anyhow, Roundup time:
- I’ve wasted so many years of screaming and dirt-kicking, when I could have turned to some high school kids for a more efficient way to deal with Bruce Froemming.
- Whenever I sign up for lab testing, I always have to do something brutal, like spray deodorant in my eyes. So, how the hell do you get this gig?
- Looks like Aramis still likes playing with cocks.
- If anything can stop us right now, it’s my bedroom eyes.
- The Cub Reporter does a bunch of the stuff HJE doesn’t, and is always a good read. If you get a chance, check out their bit on our draft history.
- Good to see that the Muskrat is clever enough to come up with the most obvious pun ever.
- It takes The Commish until June to realize that this Kerry Wood kid is pretty good. June of ten years after his career began, that is.
- Mark Prior has officially run out of injuries, so they’re inventing new ones to give him.
- Those smart-asses at The Dugout still think I type in ALL CAPS.
- Remember how Kermit mentioned that Alou was just saying that he wouldn’t have caught the ball in the NLCS to take the heat off Bartman? Well, Kerm would never say “I told you so,” but…
- Boozehounds, rejoice! You’ll be able to JO pain-free well into your 70s.
Well, that’s all for me, jerkwads. Stay good to each other this weekend, while we’re busy molesting the NL West.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
Fine. I’ll fucking say it.
HOGANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BONERTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TDUBBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BONERTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who ever thought of this Cassey thing is brilliant. Scamming Cardinal fans! Yes!
hey now!! im the real cassie and it just so happens im actually gonna do this. it isnt a publicity stunt, in fact im kinda freaking out about the ramifications. anyways, ive been planning on doing this for the past year and must say, im looking forward to it. i met athooks on a flight back from san diego and we just started talkin about the cards and i mentioned my plan. then i found out he writes for insidestl.com and wanted to write a story. so thats how all of this started. hope to see u there when we beat the cubs down!!
God speed, then, Cassie. There should be more fans like you.
She got three feet on the field before she was stopped by security. And she was fully clothed, which costs me 20 bucks. Thanks so much Cassie, you really held up your end of the bargain.
Lame.