So, Kermit is still working on his 20,000-word post. He’s hoping to have it up later tonight. This better be one hell of a dick joke.

Look, it would have been nice to take two of three from the Astros, but maybe the doom-sayers should think about it this way: Dempster had his second-worst start of the season, and only gave up 4 runs. In his worst start of the season, he only gave up…4 runs. Every other start but one has been a quality start.

Thank you to all of the men and women who have sacrificed their lives for this country, and thank you to the men and women currently serving in our military. God bless you.

Here’s your Roundup.

• Here’s a tip. If you’re trying to make a list of the best baseball songs, “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request is a great choice.” “Your Love,” just because it’s sung by a band called The Outfield, is NOT a good choice. Nor is Paul Simon, Meatloaf, or Billy Joel. Unless you’re trying to out yourself.
• Rich Hill is taking a vacation. A vacation from his PROB-LEMS!
• Bruce Miles points out some of the good things that Jim Hendry has done. The fans focus so much on what he’s done by way of player acquisition, sometimes they forget about the intelligent personnel moves he’s made. All while maintaining his sexy physique.
• Jim Edmonds needs to stop sucking ass, or as Paul Sullivan puts it nicely, he needs to “start hitting”.
• No wonder Yost’s late-inning bullpen guys suck. Apparently, Ned wets himself when the pressure is on. How can he expect his players not to follow suit?
• Scalpers of the world, unite!



• I’m disappointed the guys at TCR missed Maddux’s “drunk” picture.
• Ryan Theriot gets a lot of grief for being “scrappy,” but his numbers have been damn solid this year.
• Dusty Baker Update: Still a total dumbass.
• In ex-Cub news, Jacque Jones is going to be back in the Major Leagues soon. And back on Kermit’s Neifiball team shortly thereafter.
• In other ex-Cub news, Jason Dubois is back. Was David Kelton unavailable?
• If Bill Murray ever showed up at Shea Stadium with a Mets hat, I’d be disappointed, so you can’t blame this guy for his reaction.
• A combination toothpick/earwax spoon is the worst idea I’ve heard since Quade tried to get me to invest in a toothbrush/toilet brush.
• Finally, spending money on booze and broads isn’t the only thing to do with it.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend. Word of advice. If you invite Rothschild to a barbecue, hide the shish kebob skewers.

-Sweet Uncle Lou