How DARE You Make Me Say This, Lou?

Ronny Cedeno needs more playing time. Seriously. Why in the hell is Mike Fontenot doing anything but playing bass guitar with Animal behind him on the drums? Attention, Lou: MIKE FONTENOT SUCKS. He’s not good in the field. He’s not good at the plate. He sucks at bass guitar. For God’s sake, Lou, the Cubs have kept Ronny Cedeno on the 40-man roster for years, and he’s finally starting to show the fans why. The little moron is hitting .383/.473/.574 so far with SIXTEEN RBIs in less than 1/2 the at-bats of team RBI leaders Geovany Soto and Derrek Lee at 23. He’s leading the team in batting average, and he would play better defense than Fontenot even if he didn’t have a glove. Or arms. Or a pulse.

Look, Lou, you had a great chance to give Cedeno a bunch of playing time when Soriano went down, and you didn’t. You shifted DeRosa to left field (smart) but then used Fontenot and Patterson at second base for more than zero games (dumb).

Now, with Aramis Ramirez out, you have another great chance to see if Cedeno has figured things out. You could leave DeRosa at second base and plug Cedeno in at third base, which would be a decent option. Or your could move DeRosa over to third base and put Cedeno at second base, which would be acceptable. But you should put Cedeno at short, move Theriot to second base, and move DeRosa to third.

What you should never ever do, Lou, is use Aramis’ injury as an excuse to get Mike Fontenot at-bats.

At this point in the season, Fontenot has 55 at-bats. Cedeno has 47. I’m sorry, Lou, but even if you took away the massive defensive advantage Cedeno holds over Fontenot, at no point during the season should Fontenot have more at-bats than Cedeno. After seeing the two of them perform for the first month of the season, it’s even less acceptable.

I don’t know if you noticed, Lou, but Fontenot pretty much single-handedly cost the Cubs a win last night, sending Dempster to his first lost by committing a first-inning error which opened up the inning for the Reds to score three runs. The kid might as well be out there catching the ball with his teeth.

So, I’m begging you, Lou. You have been incredibly rational to this point in your Cubs career, playing the guys who deserve it and forcing Jim Hendry to trade the guys who don’t to San Diego. Cedeno deserves it. If, God forbid, Aramis is out for any significant period of time, GET CEDENO IN THE LINEUP.

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