God damnit. God damnit. God damnit. You ever have one of those days when every button you push is the wrong one? You ever have an outfielder who you want to punch in the back of the head? You ever want to round up the media, put them on a bus, light the bus on fire, and push the bus off a cliff? I should not have gotten out of bed yesterday. Let Trammell run the damn team. Anyhow, here’s your Roundup on a pissed-off Friday:

• After a week of shitty baseball news, here’s some good news. Jerry Crawford, the umpire who had to leave a game earlier this week, is out of the hospital and feeling better.
• I had the feeling that Fat Jay would overreact to last night’s game. Right on cue.
• I know Chuck is generally insane, but he’s dead on in saying that Soto deserves to be the starting catcher in this year’s All-Star Game, even if his bad stretch from last weekend caused Miles’ headline writer to pen the most racist headline ever.
• Look, Wood was frustrating last night, but he’s still a heck of a pitcher, ten years after making history.
• I know it’s a Brewers site, and all things Brewers suck, but Brew Crew Ball compiled a list of great baseball books. Since you’re reading this, I’m assuming most of you can read, even though you’re likely moving your lips while doing so.
• Speaking of books, Buzz Bissinger is a prick, and he gets rightfully bitch-slapped by Orson Swindle at EDSBS (also, thanks to St. Lousy Sucks for the heads-up).
• Joe Girardi is insane, and the Orioles are thanking their lucky stars that they “missed out” on hiring him. How many gods do YOU thank that you ended up with me?
• If we’re honestly considering trading Pie for Khalil Greene, can we at least wait until Theriot stops hitting to pull the trigger? I don’t know if he’s playing over his head right now, but the kid is doing well so far this year. If it ain’t broke…
• Mouthbreathing Matt Morris just retired? I thought he did that YEARS ago.
• Normally, Kermit is anti-linking Deadspin, but when you get a story about my balls, I think he’s willing to make exceptions.
• Well, isn’t that neat? Up in Freeport, they made another Wrigley Field that’s just the right size for Fontenot.
• Finally, your suspicions have been confirmed. Your dogs ARE talking about you behind your back.

Well, I’m off to take my requisite three showers today, since we’re in St. Louis. Nothing like beating up on the Deadbirds to take away the sting of a frustrating week of baseball.

-Sweet Uncle Lou