Friend of HJE, participant in the landmark HJE Round Table, and current editor of ESPN: The Magazine, Chris Sprow, has brought to my attention a contest great opportunity to win prizes while showing off your creative talents simply by writing your PG-13, six-word take on the Cubs. You need to get them in by MONDAY MORNING. Get cracking on gems like:
- Dempster is good? Who’d have guessed?
- Can Dusty manage the Cardinals next?
- Kicking dirt can invigorate a franchise.
Or, you guys could go with something not stupid. Have at it.
How about “ESPN has totally botched televised baseball?”
Oh, whoops. That’s not about the Cubs.
ESPN: The Magazine, makes great kindling.
Nobody cares about Hank Steinbrenner, assholes.
I wish Dusty can transition to a GM/Manager dual role. St. Louis and Milwaukee seem like the most logical destinations IMHO.
I’m not that good at Math, but I think there’s a problem with this comment.
I was off on a tangent about Dusty. Lets try this for 6 words
Wrigley 2008: scoring will be plentiful
2008 Cubs: endorsed by Ronny Cedeno.
What? A Non East Coast Team?
I would have gone with “Eastern Seaboard Propaganda Network. What Cubs?” but any dig on ESPN’s bias is good in my book.
2008 Cubs: 60% less vomit-inducing.
This one gets my first place vote.
I actually submitted:
A Goat Didn’t Trade Lou Brock
This one gets my second place vote.
A Goat didn’t let Maddux walk.
Fukudome’s standing on first base again.
Jon, this one is awesome because its beauty lies in its simplicity.
Joe Morgan – never announce Cubs again
Joe Morgan – not better than Ryno
There, I got the Cubs in
FUK Usual Departures, October enters MEaningfully
Hendry You Genius – Thanks For Lou
You took wrong turn at “http://”
TOO MANY MEN ON THIS FIELD!!!!!
Horry Kow this team rearry good.
Someone probably actually submitted this one.
Winner.
This team gives me a boner.
We’re ready for one hundred more.
what kind of name is…..Poon?
Comanche Indian.
The Cubs don’t suck this spring.
Hey Mark Prior, go fuck yourself.
Haven’t kicked the dog in days.
I like these Cubs, without Soriano
Watching Fukkake gives TDubbs a boner.
Watching DLEE gives TDubbs a boner.
Watching Cubs pR0N gives TDubbs boner.
watching cubs makes TDubbs question sexuality
Nope. I’m ghey for IAN
No, no, you screwed up the delivery. Here, I’ll fix it for you:
Nope. I am ghey for IAN.
2008 Cubs: Nearly all aren’t murderers.
2008 Cubs: Lilly blows THAT curve.
Tinker Evers this team has Chance
Curses are for bad sports writers
Walks clog bases. Fuck you Dusty!
Fukakke, you had me at Herro
Taking bad pithces, Swinging at Strikes
Bring it, bitches. Let’s play two!
Cedeno hits too? You’re all fucked.
like it.
Leave the goat, take the pennant
Ivy still brown sixteen wins already.
Edit:
Ivy still brown fourteen wins already?
I got ahead of myself.
John Barleycorn sets record profits
stayed up all night/ cant follow directions
You really, really suck at counting
You really, truly suck at counting
Post Twice? Damn, I hate WordPress.
Don’t say, bringing the funny above?
Wake Harry Up From His Grave!
It’s gonna happen, go Cubbies go
Pie pronounced “PA” still spells crap.
No longer want Louisville Cubs.
Wait… five or six? Oh, six.
No longer want Cubs to move.
Seriously, I don’t anymore. It feels funny.
Three starting pitchers should be institutionalized.
All-Stars at corners compensate weak middle.
Huge Venezuelan pitcher frightens batters, onlookers.
Roberts who? Our Johnson works fine.
The Cubs Make Daddy Hit Mommy
That would be the White Sox
Or it could be homemade meth.
Pat describes, Ron digresses, Cubs destroy!
Len and Bob name drop bands.
Fro Dog says they still suck.
Win so Grampa can finally die
It’s still real to me, damnit!
I don’t care, it’s 6 words.