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Six Words on the Cubs

Posted On 23 Apr 2008 By Bad Kermit. Under: Cubs. .

Friend of HJE, participant in the landmark HJE Round Table, and current editor of ESPN: The Magazine, Chris Sprow, has brought to my attention a ~~contest~~ great opportunity to win prizes while showing off your creative talents simply by writing your PG-13, six-word take on the Cubs. You need to get them in by MONDAY MORNING. Get cracking on gems like:

Dempster is good? Who’d have guessed?
Can Dusty manage the Cardinals next?
Kicking dirt can invigorate a franchise.

Or, you guys could go with something not stupid. Have at it.

http://the-slog.blogspot.com Jon

How about “ESPN has totally botched televised baseball?”

Oh, whoops. That’s not about the Cubs.

PenFoe

ESPN: The Magazine, makes great kindling.

Jarritos

Nobody cares about Hank Steinbrenner, assholes.

aaronb

I wish Dusty can transition to a GM/Manager dual role. St. Louis and Milwaukee seem like the most logical destinations IMHO.

PenFoe

I’m not that good at Math, but I think there’s a problem with this comment.

aaronb

I was off on a tangent about Dusty. Lets try this for 6 words

Wrigley 2008: scoring will be plentiful

http://www.wrigleyville23.com *In a Nutsack

2008 Cubs: endorsed by Ronny Cedeno.
http://the-slog.blogspot.com Jon

What? A Non East Coast Team?

Poon

I would have gone with “Eastern Seaboard Propaganda Network. What Cubs?” but any dig on ESPN’s bias is good in my book.

Pat

2008 Cubs: 60% less vomit-inducing.

level5

This one gets my first place vote.

Fork

I actually submitted:

A Goat Didn’t Trade Lou Brock

level5

This one gets my second place vote.
http://hirejimessian.com Mike D.

A Goat didn’t let Maddux walk.

http://the-slog.blogspot.com Jon

Fukudome’s standing on first base again.

Jarritos

Jon, this one is awesome because its beauty lies in its simplicity.

dying_diehard

Joe Morgan – never announce Cubs again

Joe Morgan – not better than Ryno

There, I got the Cubs in

FUK Usual Departures, October enters MEaningfully

Hendry You Genius – Thanks For Lou

http://www.wrigleyville23.com *In a Nutsack

You took wrong turn at “http://”

http://www.wrigleyville23.com *In a Nutsack

TOO MANY MEN ON THIS FIELD!!!!!
PenFoe

Horry Kow this team rearry good.

http://the-slog.blogspot.com Jon

Someone probably actually submitted this one.

Chris

Winner.

RV

This team gives me a boner.
Poon

We’re ready for one hundred more.

Joepa58

what kind of name is…..Poon?

Poon

Comanche Indian.

RedBeard

The Cubs don’t suck this spring.
PenFoe

Hey Mark Prior, go fuck yourself.
flannj

Haven’t kicked the dog in days.
Rick

I like these Cubs, without Soriano
TDubbs

Watching Fukkake gives TDubbs a boner.

Watching DLEE gives TDubbs a boner.

Watching Cubs pR0N gives TDubbs boner.

aaronb

watching cubs makes TDubbs question sexuality

TDubbs

Nope. I’m ghey for IAN

RedBeard

No, no, you screwed up the delivery. Here, I’ll fix it for you:

Nope. I am ghey for IAN.

Pat

2008 Cubs: Nearly all aren’t murderers.

http://the-slog.blogspot.com Jon

2008 Cubs: Lilly blows THAT curve.

ryan

Tinker Evers this team has Chance
Ryan Beariot

Curses are for bad sports writers
djwoody

Walks clog bases. Fuck you Dusty!
patpieper

Fukakke, you had me at Herro
Brad D

Taking bad pithces, Swinging at Strikes
StPatrick

Bring it, bitches. Let’s play two!
StPatrick

Cedeno hits too? You’re all fucked.

SantoHOF

like it.

CactusMcHarris

Leave the goat, take the pennant
Acapulco Taco Pie

Ivy still brown sixteen wins already.

Acapulco Taco Pie

Edit:

Ivy still brown fourteen wins already?

I got ahead of myself.

Seth

John Barleycorn sets record profits

Seth

stayed up all night/ cant follow directions

RedBeard

You really, really suck at counting
RedBeard

You really, truly suck at counting

RedBeard

Post Twice? Damn, I hate WordPress.

Oleg

Don’t say, bringing the funny above?

Carlos

Wake Harry Up From His Grave!
DB

It’s gonna happen, go Cubbies go
http://www.411mania.com Derek

Pie pronounced “PA” still spells crap.
Jarritos

No longer want Louisville Cubs.

Jarritos

Wait… five or six? Oh, six.

No longer want Cubs to move.

Seriously, I don’t anymore. It feels funny.

Jarritos

Three starting pitchers should be institutionalized.
Jarritos

All-Stars at corners compensate weak middle.

Huge Venezuelan pitcher frightens batters, onlookers.

Roberts who? Our Johnson works fine.
Fork

The Cubs Make Daddy Hit Mommy

RedBeard

That would be the White Sox

Pat

Or it could be homemade meth.

Joe

Pat describes, Ron digresses, Cubs destroy!

http://the-slog.blogspot.com Jon

Len and Bob name drop bands.

PenFoe

Fro Dog says they still suck.
http://www.nwawrestling.com VanderPyle

Win so Grampa can finally die
PenFoe

It’s still real to me, damnit!

I don’t care, it’s 6 words.

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Six Words on the Cubs

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