Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “All Shook Up” Edition
So, the last time Dusty was in town, earthquake. This time Dusty is in town, and BOOM, another earthquake. Coincidence? Maybe. Anyhow, here’s the Roundup:
- Hey, Marty Brennaman, go ahead and fornicate yourself. It seems Marty melted down about Cubs fans throwing a bunch of balls on the field after an Adam Dunn home run Wednesday night. Since his comments are so colossally stupid, let’s address them point-by-point.
This is what makes you want to see this Chicago Cubs team lose. Among all baseball fans — I can’t attest to the Yankees and Red Sox because we don’t see them with any degree of regularity unless it’s interleague play — but far and away the most obnoxious fans in baseball in this league are those who follow this team right here.
And you’re far and away the most tedious announcer in baseball, and your son is a bad version of Joe Buck. HOW CAN GOD ALLOW THERE TO BE A BAD VERSION OF JOE BUCK?!
Throwing 15 or 18 balls on the field, there’s absolutely no excuse for that and that is so typical of Chicago Cub fans. It’s unbelievable.
Yep. That’s so typical of Cubs fans. Like that time we assaulted a first base coach. Or that time we buried a jersey in our rival’s stadium. Or that time we pissed off a rival bullpen so much that we they threw a chair at us. It’s so typical of Cubs fans. They should really be held to the high standards of all the other classy fans in baseball.
Throwing the ball back, that’s great, that’s a Chicago Cub tradition that other teams have picked up on, and that’s fine.
Oh, so it’s just the NUMBER of balls that’s a problem? I would assume that’s a big problem in the Brennaman family, too.
It’s ridiculous, it really is … You simply root against them. I’ve said all winter, people talk about this team winning the division, and my comment is they won’t win it because at the end of the day, they’re still the Chicago Cubs and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up.
Here’s a simple test to determine whether you’re a fucking hack of a broadcaster:
When you mention the Cubs, do you suggest that they’ll never win anything “because they’re the Cubs”? If yes, then you are a fucking hack of a broadcaster.
Brantley: And then they’ll have no one to boo but themselves.
Brantley, how are you even still allowed to speak after (to quote John McClain) getting butt-fucked on national television by Edwin Encarnacion. Also, why exactly would anyone boo themselves? That doesn’t even make sense.
Brennaman: Well, they never blame themselves.
Good thing you guys don’t speak in hyperbole, because that’d just be unprofessional and childish.
Brantley: They’ll blame that old billy goat.
No, that’d be media shitheads like you. We fans mostly blame baseball reasons. Go fuck yourself, Brennaman. I’m sorry your team isn’t relevant and that the BREWERS are a better rival to the Cubs than your shitty team. Have fun watching Dusty Baker mismanage your pitching staff, you miserable old piece of shit.
- Chris DeLuca wants Pie to go back down and work on his plate discipline in AAA. Two problems with that. What more is he going to learn down there, for one? And what do you do with center field when Johnson needs a day off? Fukudome? If DeRosa is in left, then who plays right? Murton? Ward? Maybe someone smarter than DeLuca should iron this out. Is there anyone like that in the organization? Or maybe I’ll just have to take Pie and Piniella him up.
- As exciting as Fukudome has been to watch this season, let’s not forget that Zambrano is pretty goddamn fun to watch, too. Oh, and so is Derrek Lee.
- The Commish is a few weeks behind HJE, but for once he makes a good point. Get rid of the racist shirts, morons. Fukudome doesn’t think it’s funny, either.
- And, finally, if there was any doubt that the alligator is the most badass animal on earth, now its blood has healing powers. Take THAT, Chuck Norris!
Well, I have a game in- shit less than an hour. I should probably make up a lineup. Ah, screw it. I’ll just have them line up shortest to tallest. It’s what I’ve been doing since Soriano went down.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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Comments
PenFoe It’s ridiculous, it really is … You simply root against them. I’ve said all winter, people talk about this team winning the division, and my comment is they won’t win it because at the end of the day, they’re still the Chicago Cubs and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up.
Really? Just like last year, you goddamn prick?
I am the HTML king of this forum, btw.
JackB That’s the first actual image I’ve seen of the “Horry Kow” T-shirts. I’d read HJE’s previous comments on them, but as I haven’t been to a game yet this year, I haven’t actually seen the logo. Worse than I imagined. That’s utterly retarded. Nobody show Marty Brenneman or we’ll have to listen to him whine some more.
Fukudome’s got some real class. If I were him, I’d want those shirts burned, but he’s just letting it slide. I hope he doesn’t think all Cub fans, or for that matter, Americans, are such doucherockets. The guy who designed that shirt and the “It’s Gonna Happen Guy” should have to sit next to each other on a busride to Hades. Assbags.
Jon I am the HTML king of this forum, btw.
Yes, you are.
Formatting tomfoolery aside, what a prick he is. And those “Horry Kow” T-shirts are an effing embarassment.
Brick Yes, it’s irrational to blame that old billygoat. When a team does poorly, the fans should blame: the fans.
Rick The shirts suck and I plan on going out of my way to tell the jerk selling them that he can be creative without being offensive. And old man Brennaman sounded like a bitter Ohion who clings to his hate and bad baseball team and blames fans from another team, for his miserable existence.
Rick I can’t stand it anymore. When talking about Brennaman, Mark Derosa said that he obviously has some deep seeded hatred for Chicago. What does Muscrat write? He obviously has some deep-seated hatred for Chicago. I’m never reading her crap again.
BigFlax Only 1 in 10 people complained of being offended? You don’t say. Chicago’s population is 4.35% Asian; I’m also guessing that there probably aren’t a ton of non-Asians who would walk up to this guy just to complain. I just don’t understand the mindset of someone who buys that shirt. It’s clearly derogatory; are people really so dumb that they think something like that is supporting the Cubs’ acquisition of a Japanese player, or somehow making him feel “at home”? What a joke.
Bad Kermit That’s also such a stupid statistic, because it’s not like the other nine WEREN’T offended. They just didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything to the guy because I was in a rush and was, quite frankly, pretty shocked by the stupidity of the shirt. I’ll make sure I get there early enough to register a formal complaint next time. IT’S GONNA HAPPEN.
Ryan Beariot ill yell at any morons i see selling or wearing them tomorrow. i may also be punching some frattards, its gonna happen guys, and my one friend who is showing up late, in a white sox hat. BK, any chance you might come bail me out?
Rick I’m an idiot. It is deep-seated. I just looked it up. Although deep seeded makes more sense.
Rick BCB is reporting that these T-shirts will no longer be sold. Enough fans contacted the Cubs offices who in turn have convinced the vendor that they are out of line.
Brad D Well, I’m glad Kosuke is a smart guy and understands that a few dumb bastards don’t represent all of us. But as far as the shirt being funny, a person cannot control what makes them laugh, sometimes it’s discomfort or shock or surprise or some combination of the three. I laughed when I saw the shirt but I also knew it was wrong.
The one thing I hate worse than ignorance is sanctamony. You can stop posturing with your self righteous indignation over the “horrible attrocity” that is a joke shirt, or you can do what people do when the tv, or a magazine offends them, you can turn it off, or don’t buy it.
Lighten the fuck up people, every one gets there turn to be the jackass. Some, just more frequently than others.
If I were Japanese and had to choose between the interment camps of the the 40’s, or stupid tasteless shirt that says more about it’s maker and wearer than it does about being Japanese, I would probably just stomache the stupid shirt.
I’m sure many of the people who bought the shirt have been lectured and when it happens, I’ll bet many of them will never were it.
I believe it was created affectionately with the idea of being a subversive attempt for the wearer to show that he’s hip to the way things were and now that we are over it can wear a t shirt that mocks such ideas. I know thats a little essoteriic and potentially appoligist sounding but I just wouldn’t give a fuck if I was japanese. I am of mostly french descent and I didn’t pitch a fit about our presidents comments about the “cut and run french” or “freedom fries” I just laughed at him and kept on living my life.
Reuschel's Jowls Well, they didn’t get the word out to the two morons still selling them at the intersection of Clark and Sheffield during Saturday’s game. I lodged my complaint to the mouth-breathers again, and their only response was “This is America, sir. This is business. Freedom of speech.”
As if that makes it right. I told him I was using my freedom of speech to tell him he was an ignorant assclown.
Reuschel's Jowls So, basically because Japanese immigrants were rounded up and interred sixty-plus years ago, Asians need to just shut up and deal with this dreadfully offensive shirt being peddled outside their favorite team’s ballpark?
That’s your argument here? Really?
Brad D No it’s not, read the whole entry, I would however add that the media should be commended on helping people decide for themselves to squash this emabarasment. The point that I may not have made in full technicolor for you is that if this is the biggest racist fish we have to fry then our society or at least in the daily news, has made some progress. This shirt may be an abberation in this overall progress and so we jump on it because we are so uncomfortable with the subject that we freak out at some juvenile shirt. If this is news in race relations, then it beats the hell out of people being pounded by firehoses in Selma Alabama, or as I mentioned already the Camps.
I don’t see alot of opportunity being denied Japanese Americans because people think it’s funny that the L’s turn into R’s upon translation.
Well, I’m white, and I cant dance, and I have no rythm and I can’t jump and I like my lawn to look imaculate and spoil my children and…..I can handle a joke.
And so can my Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian friends.
Good day sir.
CT
bocaj
BigFlax
StPatrick
TDubbs
[...] Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “All Shook Up” Edition Published 13 minutes ago by Bad Kermit at Hire Jim Essian! … Hey, Marty Brennaman, go ahead and fornicate yourself. It seems Marty melted down about Cubs fans throwing a bunch of balls on the field after an Adam Dunn home run Wednesday night. Since his comments are so colossally stupid, let’s address them point-by-point. … [...]