Friday Night Fukudome: Mike Fontenot vs. Eric Patterson
Lou Piniella’s top of the order has been mostly baffling throughout the early stages of the 2008 season. Perhaps the most mind-boggling move he’s made, though, is to lead off with Mike Fontenot and then with Eric Patterson. If those were your two choices, and death were not an option, who would you go with?
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BigFlax
PenFoe
StPatrick
CT
CactusMcHarris
There is no way answering this question is going to make me feel good.
The cajun.
Can death be added as an option? Ugh…
Mikey, but only because fuck all things Patterson.
Seriously though… Johnson, DeRosa, I’d even risk Fukudome batting first over this binary form of suck. The top of the order is starting to look like Lou took a page from Dusty Baker ball. If the guy can’t get on base to save his own mother’s life, but he’s relatively fast, by all means, put him at the top of the order.
Agreed Jarritos-
OBP is the number one attribute for the top of the order, base clogger or not. Who gives a shit about speed when you’re getting on base at a 200 clip as an alternative. A 1-2 punch of Johnson, Fukudome would be a big improvement and if Johnson isn’t playing, go with Fukudome and DeRosa at the top.
I just can’t figure out how this escapes a baseball man like Piniella.
When the Fonz returns, hit him 5th. and say fuck it. He’s a whiff machine with over half of his hits for extra bases. Put him in a spot in the order when K’s don’t hurt the club, his speed will still be an asset and his extra base power will be maximized.
I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.
racists
Once again, I went with Crab Juice. Because it can actually get on base.
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/903754,cubshirt041808.article
Fontenot…by forfeit
sorry, dude, total lie. was down there today and i definitely saw some people still selling the thing. several different stores were selling just the image, and i definitely saw at least one vendor selling the shirt. i saw several fukudome headbands and several different shirts with japanese writing and attempts at humor.
but you know what else i saw? a little known redhead by the name of MATT FUCKING MURTON!!!!!!!!!!
i was in the bleachers and when he walked out there we all started cheering for him, even after the 0 for 2. everyone was pretty meh to Pennsylvania, but the crowd freaking loved murton.
My parents went to a game where the official promotional thing handed out at the doors was a headband. It said “ichi ban” (“number one”).
If those are the headbands you saw, I don’t think that’s offensive, plus it was clearly some kind of Cubs official merchandise. (Though “official” doesn’t necessarily mean “inoffensive” I suppose.)
Lou is just throwing these two puppies a bone. He doesn’t really think either one of them could hold the job down. He’s like the dad who catches you smoking and makes you smoke the whole pack right in front of him until you puke.
“You see” said Uncle Lou “I tryed to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen!”
Can you imagine the conversation between Murton and Patterson when Murton showed up and probably broke the news to him before Lou could remember to mention it.
Patterson: Hey what are you doing here, shouldn’t you be in Iowa hitting a daisy chain of singles right now?
Murton: Oh, didn’t they tell you, I’m here to replace you, although I think Disney world is still hiring for munchins and Lilliputians.
Sweet Lou: Oh, shit this awkward, you two gentle men know eachother right, Eric Meet your replacement, and don’t stare at him for too long or his pastiness will blind you, if the red hair doesn’t”
Patterson: Ok, but can I take a few souvenirs before I go, like Zambrano’s Jock?
Zambrano: I don’t think you could carry it boy!! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!!!
Oh to be a fly on the wall.
I don’t think Ichi Ban is too bad. That Horry Kow crap has to go though. Fucking douchebags. It’s just embarrassing. You’d think these people had never seen an Asian before.