It’s Dusty Baker Week at Wrigley Field
For the first time since he ruined my life from 2004 through 2006, Dusty Baker will be back in Wrigley Field this Tuesday. In honor of his return, I suggest that Lou Piniella coach this week Dusty-style. Here are my suggestions:
- Double switches for any substitution.
- Any player that walks will be fined.
- Instead of having the team wear #42 jerseys in honor of Jackie Robinson, they will wear #44 in honor of Hank Aaron.
- All postgame interviews must be conducted with a small child sitting on his lap.
- The center fielder will lead off, and his second baseman will hit second.
- Lou’s lineup card will begin as follows: “My Guy, Dude, Neifi, Reorder toothpicks.”
- Lou will not be allowed to leave the dugout to argue.
- No player under the age of 35 years old will be in the starting lineup.
- Lou will wear eyeblack as if he might be called upon to pinch hit late in the game.
- Babe Winkelman will sing the seventh inning stretch.
Welcome back, Dusty.
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Comments
Mark Giangreco Roman Wrestler 11. Let Sean Marshall call the booth and oink at Len Kasper.
Mark Giangreco Roman Wrestler 12. Let Derrek Lee blast John Legend on his boombox in the clubhouse.
JackB Not only will Lou not be allowed to leave the dugout to argue, he must stay confined to one spot on the bench. He will not be required to actually watch the action on the field.
Every sentence must contain the word “dude” or “man”.
Lou must make one childish, racially insensitive comment and then try to laugh it off.
Mike D. I would like to amend #4.
Dusty only exploited his child by putting him on his lap following difficult losses, so as to surely deflect any questions about his dumbassery.
Jarritos Never, under any circumstances, should the manager be allowed to view more than 20% of the playing field at any given time.
CT
bocaj
BigFlax
StPatrick
TDubbs
Forgot about the wristbands