Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “My Computer Is Wonky” Edition
Okay, I had a bunch of great stuff jotted down and ready to post today, but my computer is just begging for a good old-fashioned kicking, so I lost most of it. So, this will be your abbreviated Roundup. Deal with it.
- Kermit’s Fighting Irish hockey team is arguably the greatest Cinderella story in Frozen Four history. No #4 team had ever so much as made the Frozen Four until the Irish did it. They beat the heavily-favored Michigan Wolverines in a thrilling overtime game last night to advance to the National Championship. The Irish will take on Boston College tomorrow night. Make your Guinness, Killian’s, and Jameson run tonight so you’re well-prepared.
- Speaking of the Fighting Irish, here’s hoping that The Shark is in the rotation by Opening Day of next year at the latest.
- Paul, Paul, Paul. Your latest article reads like some crazy-ass high school term paper some kid wrote comparing Star Wars to The Grapes of Wrath. You know the one? Where the kid had to make some forced comparison of why Chewbacca’s character was just like Whoopi Goldberg?
- Steve Rosenbloom just continues to soak the internet in vinegar and water. If I recall correctly, Jon Lieber’s presence in the bullpen basically just won us 2 out of the 3 games we played in Pittsburgh. So, of course, Steve wants to move him. He also wants Mark DeRosa out of the lineup. You know, the guy who’s hitting .290/.389/.484 right now. People like Steve should have penises growing right out of their foreheads, so they’re easier to identify.
- With that said, Rich Hill better get his shit together. Maybe he was just nervous about his lame alma mater having to play a superior, better-looking Irish team in the Frozen Four, but that’s no excuse to leave a puddle on the mound, especially since the team had to play 27 innings in its previous two games.
- Did you know that George Steinbrenner is the guy who taught me how to be a thespian in the ballpark?
- It’s a good damn thing that Geovany Soto can hit, because looking up the middle, Theriot can’t (by the way, he’s GODDAMN LUCKY he kicked the ball out of Bautista’s glove when he inexplicably tried to steal third and was thrown out by a mile), and I’m starting to suspect Pie never will.
- Everyone thinks bacteria is such a bad thing, yet it just got you a Zambrano start tonight instead of a Marquis start. To honor our microscopic little friends, I’m not wearing deodorant or brushing my teeth all week.
Well, that’s all for me. In honor of Felix PA not drawing a walk in this godforsaken state, let’s not lose a came in Pennsylvania this this year. Have a good weekend. Go Irish!
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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CT
StPatrick
PenFoe
BigFlax
Bocaj
Grapes of Wrath… Hmmm..
“The Color Purple” maybe?
Purple = the color of grapes… maybe that’s where you jumped the track.
Isn’t Paul Sullivan a real reporter? What the hell was he (or the editor who forced him to shit that out) thinking?
I’m confused…are you doubting the existence of The Grapes of Wrath, or are you just saying The Color Purple is a better choice?
oh nevermind…i get it now
I don’t care how he pitches, with his background on the gridiron The Shark has the potential to be the most feared bench clearing brawler on the team since we traded Farnsworth. He could also take the spot on the roster designated as the “pitcher who can also pinch run” when we ship Marquis out of town.
Lou isn’t so good with ancient Greek literature.
“People like Steve should have penises growing right out of their foreheads, so they’re easier to identify.”
You should submit this to Steve, I think it would be a fitting slogan for the Rosenblog.
Is that a line from the Steinbeck book that I didn’t see the first time? Because if it isn’t, it should be. I fine line of literature if I ever saw wone, and it makes sense, too!
BK,
Uncle Lou has me so shaken up, I can’t even spell any more. Is it time to take some wrath out on the life-size Jeff Kent doll that I have? And thanks for the preview button.
I suggest taking all your wrath out on grapes.
Uh…Killian’s is as far from being Irish as you can get. It’s brewed by Coors, and helps people who don’t know any better and don’t know what actual good beer is supposed to taste like a chance to show off by not ordering something fizzy and yellow. These are the same people who think Corona and Heineken are good. Sorry if this is any of you guys, but somebody had to tell you.
All of these 4000-year-old writers confuse the shit out of me, too.
Smithwicks!
I remember the Color Purple era in high school. I never thought I would want to end it all at such an early age.
All I can remember now (thanks to some memory repression) is some screaming by people that were completely overacting. Glad that’s all over.