You guys want to order pizza, or something?As you know, your local HJE idiots put together a panel of experts to form a Round Table of sorts to answer all eight of your preseason Cubs questions. Of course, the gang at HJE chipped in, too. For Part One of the ensuing mayhem, click here. Part Two follows.

Question Three: If Ryan Theriot were to play all 162 games this season, what would his weight be by October?

Bruce Miles (Daily Herald): Somewhat lower than his on-base percentage, which I think will be improved this year. Hes been one of the better players in camp this spring.

Eli Gieryna (Flotsam): Probably about 140, which will be just slightly less than his OPS.

Mike Donohue (Hire Jim Essian!): 120 lbs, which would still be twice the weight of David Eckstein.

Len Kasper (Bob Brenly’s Yes Man): 37

Andy Dolan (Desipio): If he plays 162, his weight will equal the Cubs win total. 77.

Chris Sprow (ESPN): He’s listed in the place I’m looking at 5’11″ and 175 pounds, which seems like what he might get granted if he was up against Stone Cold Steve Austin in a WWE Smackdown-a-Cub charity pummeling. If the Cubs go with wool uni’s, and I hope they do, I think he ends up at about 5’6″and 156 pounds, which is the exact replica of Rafael Belliard when he was on the juice and his his home run in 1987. (He followed with another bomb in ’97, to be fair, but, ya know, steroids era and all…)

Kelly Dwyer (Yahoo! Sports): You can try to take out Tom Skerritt, but he’ll stab ya. Hells yes, he’ll stab ya. Ryan Theriot would seem the perfect candidate for a “The Riot” nickname. Has anyone thought of that?

Jeff Thomas (Hire Jim Essian!): Im not entirely sure what any of these numbers mean we work in kilos over here, you know but suffice to say that if Theriot plays every game then by September hell have to run round in the shower to get wet.

Chuck Gitles (Ivy Chat): I don’t know, but probably still more than Sam Fuld and Doug Dascenzo, combined.

Kermit: He’ll still weigh ten pounds less than Ronny Cedeno’s Adam’s apple and Daryle Ward’s right cheek. The one on his face, weirdos.

Question Four: Who pitches more innings–Lieber or Marquis? Will one get traded or sent to the ‘pen? If traded, what type of the player will the Cubs get in exchange? NOTE: This question was asked prior to Lou’s announcement that Lieber would be moving to the pen. –Ed.

Gieryna: I think Lieber has the lead, simply because he knows not to mouth off to Lou. Given Marquis’ first-half successes, the Cubs should start Marquis in April and May when he’s competent, trade him for a mule, shoot the mule, and slot Lieber into the fifth slot. For the record, I think Lieber, Marquis and the mule would all be better starters than Ryan Dempster.

Sprow: I think Marquis gets more innings. The guy had a solid year last year based on what you could have expected (remember, the dude had TWO starts in 2006 where he went on the hook for 14 earned runs. Two.). Over the last 4 seasons, he’s started 32, 33, 33, and 34 games. Lieber, on the other hand, has started 30 games just once in the last five seasons, a season in which he won 17 games, but still had a 4.40 ERA. Really though, I just think Lieber misses an early start because he can’t get his damn “truck” through traffic, and gets the demotion. I don’t see either one as trade bait. The thing is, if either/or gets dinged at all this year, the other becomes important. You really won’t get much for either, anyway. Rarely do teams fighting for playoff position trade for a fifth starter that on good days can imitate a third. Most systems have a call-up in that mold … including the Cubs.

Dwyer: Pardon my candor, but I think the better question would be, how long before the Cubs try to acquire Kip Wells and/or Joel Pineiro? Any other crappy ex-Cardinal starters you’d like me to recommend?

Gitles: Marquis will pitch more innings, the only question will be, “For how many teams will he accrue innings in 2008?” Jon Lieber is a great story in terms of his comeback from surgery and being able to pitch again, and pitch well. But Lieber has also only pitched over 170 innings twice in the last 5 years, and one of those years was 176 innings. I just don’t see Lieber being able to finish a full season without an injury.

Dolan: Lieber’s already won the fifth starter’s role and that either means the Marquis du Suc either goes to the bullpen or to another team. Thanks to Diamond Jim’s irrational need to guarantee him $21 million when nobody else wanted him last offseason, he’s hard to trade. Seriously, what kind of a dumbass would trade for a mediocre pitcher with $16 million due him the next two years? It’s time to get Dave Littlefield a job, he’d do that deal. Who does he work for now? http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3160700 Guh. If traded, Jason will bring back an equally flawed and expensive player, like Jay Payton or God forbid Coco Crisp. It’s subtraction by addition.

Kasper: Tough call, but if I had to predict, I’d say Lieber will start with Marquis either beginning in the ‘pen or getting traded. Ideally, if you do trade Marquis, it’s to get Brian Roberts.

Thomas: Despite Lou backtracking from his earlier threats to murder Marquis in his bed (Im reading between the lines here), its clear that Jasons goose is cooked as far as Piniella is concerned. If When Hendry cant find a taker for him, I think youll find Marquis pitching in 14-0 blowouts and cleaning the clubhouse shitters. With his tongue.

Miles: I still say Lieber. Maybe thats my preference for strike throwers and 1 hour and 55 minute games, especially on getaway day. Lieber will not be traded. Marquis may be traded, with the Cubs ending up with a serviceable, at best, position player.

Donohue: Lieber will throw 175 innings and win 11 games. Preferrably, Marquis would be dealt to the corner of Washington and Wells where his ability to hawk “Streetwise” would far exceed his ability to pitch well for an entire season.

Kermit: Even though I’m writing this after the “announcement” that Marquis would start and Lieber would go to the pen, I still think Lieber will pitch more innings (at least for the Cubs). If you give up seven runs and record two outs that only counts as 2/3 of an inning, right? Between calls to Reed Johnson, Jim has to be working the phones trying to unload Marquis. Lou’s speech wasn’t quite “get me some guys here who can catch the damn ball” level, but it was close. I think Marquis punched his ticket out of town, and now the only question is when his train leaves the station. Is that a good analogy, guys? Guys?

Part Three of the Round Table is coming up tomorrow…