Comments on: Cubs Sign Future B126er Reed Johnson

By: E. Toby Coe

E. Toby Coe — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:31:51 +0000

Reed Johnson is a solid, hard-nosed, scrappy player. If his back is healthy, and Jesus still loves him, then he can hit close to .300 with a little bit of pop, and he can run like the wind and catch every ball hit within 0.14 Kms of him. So if Felix Pieshot or the Fuck Me? Fuck Me? Fuck You! Dome struggles, look for Lil Speedy Reedy Johnson to start for yous guys.

By: JackB

JackB — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:11:51 +0000

I don’t mind the signing, other than the fact that it pretty much means Murton is heading out of town. Sadly, that’s probably the best thing for him, as he needs to play every day. Johnson hits lefties pretty good and Pie doesn’t at this point. Murton’s a stud, but there’s no way in Hades he can play center field. Just so long as we don’t sign DeAngelo Jimenez, I’ll be happy. DeRosa becoming a super sub if Brian Roberts comes over I can handle, but if they play Jimenez over DeRosa, they’re fuckin nuts.

By: Thrillho

Thrillho — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:31:35 +0000

I tried to leave a comment to this effect earlier, but it seems to have been eaten.

Compare, St. Pat:

http://images.quickblogcast.com/92828-85567/lou.jpg
http://i28.tinypic.com/2dcfzme.jpg

If that’s not Lou, it’s one hell of a doppelganger.

Better, even, than any of those Saddam stand-ins.

By: BigFlax

BigFlax — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:51:49 +0000

The biggest argument for “It’s not him,” if you ask me, is that I don’t know why his car would be parked over there. It looks as much like him as anyone could without being him, if it isn’t.

By: BigFlax

BigFlax — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:47:09 +0000

Thanks. I wasn’t sure just how hard to go after it since I considered the possibility that it was some sort of deep satire, but frankly I don’t see how that excuses it even if it is true.

By: Thrillho

Thrillho — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:50:21 +0000

“Bigger nose, fatter face. Then again, they say the camera adds 10 pounds.”

You’ve never actually seen Lou Piniella, have you?

Compare:

http://images.quickblogcast.com/92828-85567/lou.jpg
http://mlb.mlb.com/images/2007/10/01/XSj3oK7h.jpg
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/10/17/sports/17piniella.2.600.jpg
http://i28.tinypic.com/2dcfzme.jpg

I have no doubt.

By: Andy

Andy — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:26:51 +0000

That’s only because the great server purge of January 08 deleted my “Pacific Rim Job” headline when the Cubs signed Fukkake.

By: IGN Boards - Cubs sign Reed Johnson.

IGN Boards - Cubs sign Reed Johnson. — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:23:43 +0000

[...] http://hirejimessian.com/index.php/2008/03/25/cubs-sign-future-b126er-reed-johnson/ [...]

By: StPatrick

StPatrick — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:08:00 +0000

I’m not convinced that that’s actually Lou, but if it’s not, he sure is close. Something about the chin seems off…he looks more like an older Irish dude that looks sort of lresembles the skip. Bigger nose, fatter face. Then again, they say the camera adds 10 pounds. If that is Lou, I expect a full ass-chewing for big brother in the roundup.

By: StPatrick

StPatrick — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:59:29 +0000

Nice job on Leitch. You’d think a guy that got paid to write his articles could handle fact checking. Also, another great argument against Felipe Lopez: all the coolest kids know that he’s one of the most valuable players in this year’s Neifiball Leagues. No power, never walks, gets caught stealing, makes errors…he gives Billy Beane night terrors.