For some reason, the Cubs have signed former Toronto Blue Jay Reed Johnson. Johnson is basically what you’d get if you took away a chunk of Matt Murton’s power, added a bunch of strikeouts, marginally improved his defense, and then slugged him in the lower back with a baseball bat.
Oh, the sun also rose this morning, and the Cubs put Angel Guzman on the 60-day disabled list. It’ll be news when the Cubs take Guzman OFF the 60-day disabled list.
That is not how I picture somone named Reed Cameron Johnson looking.
The tattoo artists of Chicago might be happy about this but I am not.
Best article headline ever.
Looks like a good pickup for a RH center fielder. Murton cannot pinch hit, while Johnson can. And he can play center field.
Neither of them are good pinch hitters.
Murton: 51 ABs .293 OBP .333 SLG
Johnson: 42 ABs .298 OBP .405 SLG
And Reed Johnson has played 13 games in CF in the past 2 season. THIRTEEN.
13 more than Murton, and while I like Murton, the manager doesn’t. Still an upgrade over Cedeno in CF. Better also than Jay Payton.
Best Headline I ever read
That’s only because the great server purge of January 08 deleted my “Pacific Rim Job” headline when the Cubs signed Fukkake.
I’m trying to look at the positives. Johnson had an OBP of .390 in consistent action in 2006; he hits lefties almost as well as Murton does; and he can play center field and has a “plus arm” according to Keith Law. I wish there was more of a spot for Murton but when your best defensive position is taken up by the most expensive position player on the team… well, what are you gonna do. I’d rather have Pie and Johnson than another year of Jacque F. Jones.
Flax,
That’s a nice takedown of that stupid Deadspin Cubs preview that you’ve got at your site.
Thanks. I wasn’t sure just how hard to go after it since I considered the possibility that it was some sort of deep satire, but frankly I don’t see how that excuses it even if it is true.
Nice job on Leitch. You’d think a guy that got paid to write his articles could handle fact checking. Also, another great argument against Felipe Lopez: all the coolest kids know that he’s one of the most valuable players in this year’s Neifiball Leagues. No power, never walks, gets caught stealing, makes errors…he gives Billy Beane night terrors.
So go to http://maps.google.com/
Type in “Improv Olympic” and choose the Chicago aggress that comes up.
Choose “street view.”
Maneuver a bit so you’re staring directly at the blue front wall of the Improv Olympic building, on the east side of the street.
You should be able to find Lou Piniella, in a tan shirt, unlocking his car with his remote control key ring.
Well, I’ll be damned.
Direct link:
http://tinyurl.com/22zerx
Adding…
Are those dealer plates?
http://tinyurl.com/ytxqhm
And don’t they let him park at Wrigley?
That’s some crazy-ass witchcraft, right there…
I’m not convinced that that’s actually Lou, but if it’s not, he sure is close. Something about the chin seems off…he looks more like an older Irish dude that looks sort of lresembles the skip. Bigger nose, fatter face. Then again, they say the camera adds 10 pounds. If that is Lou, I expect a full ass-chewing for big brother in the roundup.
“Bigger nose, fatter face. Then again, they say the camera adds 10 pounds.”
You’ve never actually seen Lou Piniella, have you?
Compare:
http://images.quickblogcast.com/92828-85567/lou.jpg
http://mlb.mlb.com/images/2007/10/01/XSj3oK7h.jpg
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/10/17/sports/17piniella.2.600.jpg
http://i28.tinypic.com/2dcfzme.jpg
I have no doubt.
The biggest argument for “It’s not him,” if you ask me, is that I don’t know why his car would be parked over there. It looks as much like him as anyone could without being him, if it isn’t.
I tried to leave a comment to this effect earlier, but it seems to have been eaten.
Compare, St. Pat:
http://images.quickblogcast.com/92828-85567/lou.jpg
http://i28.tinypic.com/2dcfzme.jpg
If that’s not Lou, it’s one hell of a doppelganger.
Better, even, than any of those Saddam stand-ins.
Amazing picture. Be funny if he had a beer in his hand
I don’t mind the signing, other than the fact that it pretty much means Murton is heading out of town. Sadly, that’s probably the best thing for him, as he needs to play every day. Johnson hits lefties pretty good and Pie doesn’t at this point. Murton’s a stud, but there’s no way in Hades he can play center field. Just so long as we don’t sign DeAngelo Jimenez, I’ll be happy. DeRosa becoming a super sub if Brian Roberts comes over I can handle, but if they play Jimenez over DeRosa, they’re fuckin nuts.
Reed Johnson is a solid, hard-nosed, scrappy player. If his back is healthy, and Jesus still loves him, then he can hit close to .300 with a little bit of pop, and he can run like the wind and catch every ball hit within 0.14 Kms of him. So if Felix Pieshot or the Fuck Me? Fuck Me? Fuck You! Dome struggles, look for Lil Speedy Reedy Johnson to start for yous guys.