Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Suck it, Snow” Edition
Kermit tells me you chumps are getting snow today? Bwaahaahaa! Whaddya mean, “We have a game there in ten days”? So, listen, on the request of Level5, Kermit added a couple of new shirts to the old HJE shop, including The Hundley, The Perez, and The Essian (pictured, duh). There’s still time to get yours before Opening Day. Anyhow, happy crucifixion of your Lord Day, Catholics. Here’s your Roundup:
- Look, Rich Hill has been bad this spring, and he was terrible yesterday. There is talk that he might be out of the rotation. Until he starts doing a stupid Harry Caray impression, though, and putting Icy Hot in everyone’s jocks, he still has an edge over Dempster.
- If you ever get the urge to bitch about our lineup, just look over at Baltimore, where resident dickhead Kevin Millar was just named the Orioles’ cleanup hitter for 2008. Yeesh.
- Turns out that Kerry Wood back spasm non-story was just that. A non-story.
- Are the Tigers interested in Michael Wuertz? More importantly, do we have any interest whatsoever in Brandon Inge or Marcus Thames? God, I hope not.
- Kermit’s fantasy team players always manage to hurt themselves prior to the season. Apparently, that trend carries over to his Neifiball team. Of course, on the other hand…
- Holy shit, Reds fans. Maybe you can ask Dolan if you can borrow his “Dude, When Does My Contract Expire?” graphic for Dusty.
- Five Outs to Go is running their own tournament, the “Tournament of Cubdom.” The tournament pits typical Cub fan moments (some good, some horrendous) against one another.
- You know it’s almost the end of Spring Training when the beat writers are covering what the guys are writing on their shoes.
- Maybe Michael should have tried this on Lost last night.
Well, that’s it for me, kids. Only two more weekends left until we have baseball that anyone cares about.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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CT
StPatrick
PenFoe
BigFlax
Bocaj
Gee, I still have not broken in the one HJE shirt I already own. I think I will wear it on Easter Sunday.
If we trade Wuertz for either Inge or Thames, Hendry deserves to have his Krispy Kreme discount card revoked.
Millar? You mean Mr. Red Sox. What an f’in chucklehead.
I don’t think I could wear the Neifi or the Hundley, even ironically.
Yeah well, I didn’t use those tickets you gave me either.
I should have broken in the shirt in on my trek up Pinnacle Peak.
Jon, don’t you love this site and other like it? Of course you do, or why would you be here. So show your great cub sense of humor and get the Essian Jersey. Although, with the bitter taste of little Hundley still in our Old Style filled mouths, the Hundley Jersey would be a great conversation piece for the more contemporary Cubs fan.
So take that stick out of your ass and jump on board for the big win. Cubs fans can only regain their self esteem by embracing it’s greatest losers with the same warmth and joy as our Elderly Overpriced, Once great, underacheivers of today EG Soriano, Lee, Fukudome.
I love them all, those who never had it, and those we signed in the twilight of their haditness.
Oh, I’d wear the Essian in a heartbeat. But the Hundley and the Neifi are just too…well, B126ish for me to handle.
My Hire Jim Essian Todd Hundley Jersey arrived yesterday. Very nice! I can’t wait for opening day.