Oh, for Pete’s sake. I thought we were all done speculating on a possible Brian Roberts trade, and now I’m reading that we’re throwing Jose Ceda into the mix. Plus we might send Marquis their way (that’s good) and get Jay Payton back (that’s bad). Can we just get this trade done (that’s good) so I can go back to trying to figure out the back end of my rotation (that’s bad)? At least get it done before Moronotti, who, if you recall, cried foul about the Cubs’ interest in Roberts after the Mitchell Report, flip-flops again. Anyhow, here’s the Roundup:
- Kermit’s Neifiball team is already off to a hell of a start. Utility guy Mark Grudzielanek may be playing with a bad back this year, and Jeff Suppan sucks, and then gets drilled with a line drive. By the way, the #1 pick in the draft was Cesar Izturis, and it appears to have been a solid one.
- Let’s just nip this in the bud now. You were 1-3, Alf. Shut the hell up.
- I’ve been waiting to see why our team isn’t shit compared to the
DevilRays. Now I know. - Just how bad are the Cardinals going to be this year? I wonder how an all-Cardinal team would do in the Neifiball League.
- With each outing, it looks more and more like Kevin Hart is going north with the rest of the team. Maybe those 11 innings last year actually DID tell us something.
- How terrible is Paul Maholm? He ran a 3-1 count to SIXTY-YEAR-OLD ACTOR BILLY CRYSTAL! Christ, Crystal actually makes contact with the ball in the at-bat. Time to hang ‘em up, Paul.
- Cubs f/x doesn’t like my lineup construction so far this Spring. Can’t a guy come up with a stupid explanation for a lineup change without everyone jumping down his throat?
- Looking for your weekly “sale of Wrigley Field” fix? Look no further. TJ Brown, whose muse has apparently returned wearing something slinky, has you covered.
- Apparently, Michael Barrett wanted to stay with the Cubs forever. Probably because it took him three and a half seasons to memorize his Chicago address and phone number.
- The SHINGO! era is already over. I’ll miss his 65-mile-an-hour fastball the most.
- This story about Joe Buck may not be real, but isn’t it exactly how YOU picture Joe Buck in real life?
- Micah Hoffpauir is killing the ball this Spring. Kind of like Scott McClain did that one time. Whatever happened to that guy? Oh, yeah.
- When are people going to realize that as soon as NO ONE follows the Cubs around for a season, trying to capture THE Season, THEN they’ll win the whole goddamn thing. Put down the camera. Pick up a beer and a hot dog.
- God damn, Dusty really lays his tracks early when he knows he’s going to screw over some poor kid’s development.
- In other ex-Cub news, Wild Thing is still batshit insane.
- This story about a woman sitting on a toilet for two years is completely absurd. We’re actually supposed to believe that a woman went to the bathroom by herself?
- Don’t let your significant other forget that today is Steak & Blowjob Day. For you Catholics, I’m pretty sure when a holiday falls on a Lenten Friday, the Pope gives a special dispensation. So, both of you can eat meat tonight.
Well, that’s it for me, kids. Cross another week without “real” baseball off your Rainbow Brite calendar. We’re getting close.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
Ignoring the title of the article, it doesn’t seem like Alf is complaing at all:
“I never batted second in the big leagues, but the first at-bat was with somebody on base,” said Soriano, who was 1-for-3. “I didn’t feel very comfortable. But it’s the first at-bat. I will have to make a couple little adjustments batting second because I never batted second.”
I agree. Chuck, on the other hand…
The look on Robert’s face in that photo is the same one he will get when he finds out Dempster hid his glove and hat in the bat rack for the second time in a game.
Awesome.
Dumpster thinks he so fuckin cute. He’s the Kevin Millar of the National league, but without the sucess.
I’m sick of this shit. They’re saying we’re throwing in Ceda now, who has some sick stuff. Sounds like a pretty good package now. Maybe the hold up is the Marquis for Payton thing. I would really prefer to use Murton as a 4th outfielder, but what the hell. You just know Andy McFail is holding this up. He’s getting our top 3 pitching prospects in Veal, Gallagher, and Ceda. What else does he want? Do the fucking deal already.
He wants no fewer than 10 new sweater vests, of varying colors and patterns.
Let’s have a bet. Who’s drunker, me or some guy? I bet me. Brian Roberts will help us win 89 games. WIthought him we get 76
Brian Roberts = 13 wins?
I’d say you had enough to drink.
HOLY SHIT!!!
I had no idea that Brian Roberts was white.
Neither did I, Looks like the the lovechild of Sandberg and Theriot. How old is he. Is this going to be another past his prime acquisition for the cubs. The truth is, we won’t know what we have until the season is at least half over, if last years post Barrett team is any indication.
sorry about the lack of question marks ????????? Better??? Here’s my list of past his prime Cubs.
Dare I say Soriano, Fred McGriff, NoMar, We’ll see about Leiber, Maddux part II, although on the opposite end of the spectrum their is a hall of fame caliber list of cubs who triumphed post Cubness. Eckersly, Bil Mueller,
Joe Carter, Joe Morgan, Raphael Palmiero etc….
Throw me a fricken bone here, someone else chime in.
I had always assumed Brian Roberts was black, also. Until his picture started popping up when the Cubs expressed interest, I figured he looked kinda like Jimmy Rollins or Carl Crawford. Man, I think I’m sort of reverse racist, only thinking black/latin players can be fast.